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Love the Haters: An Interview with Statler and Waldorf

The toughest critics in the industry review The Artist and offer their take on liberal anti-oil messages.

 

The Muppets was a great movie but even better, it made the Muppets themselves available for interviews. For the film’s home video release on March 20, we landed an exclusive interview with Statler and Waldorf, the old curmudgeons in the balcony seats.

From Disney Home Entertainment: “The Muppets is Available March 20th with the Wocka Wocka Value Pack, which contains the movie on Blu-ray high-definition, DVD and Digital Copy (3 discs) plus a download card for the film's soundtrack from Walt Disney Records!”

From us, answers to important questions from Statler and Waldorf themselves:

 

CraveOnline: How did you enjoy the Oscars. Did seat fillers try to take your seats?

Statler: No, we can never find anyone to take our seats.

Waldorf: Yeah, they’re lousy seats… they face the stage!

 

How did you like The Artist?

Waldorf: I loved it.

Statler: Not me, I couldn’t hear a word they said.

Waldorf: It was a silent movie, you old fool!

Statler: Thank goodness. I thought my hearing aid was broken.

Waldorf: We always knew silent movies would make a comeback!

 

How do you feel about the accusations that The Muppets movie had a liberal anti-oil message?

Statler: Who made that criticism!

Waldorf: Yeah, and why didn’t we think of it first.

Statler: We never get the political subtext in Muppet movies.

Waldorf: Come to think of it, we never get anything about Muppet movies.

Statler: Maybe if we didn’t fall asleep during them.

Waldorf: What are you, anti-sleep!

 

The film had great cameos but why didn’t they get Samuel L. Jackson to be in The Muppets?  Has he had it with those Motherfuppets?

Statler: We tried to get Samuel L. Jackson in the movie.

Waldorf: But he’s too smart for that.

Statler: So we had to suffer alone.

 

Were you sorry Tex Richman had to give Muppet Studios back to Kermit?

Waldorf: No, we’re glad the frog is back in charge.

Statler: Yeah, that Richman fellow was rude, difficult and never had anything nice to say.

Waldorf: And that’s our job.

 

Why do you keep going to the Muppet shows if you hate them?

Statler: That’s an age-old mystery.

Waldorf: Yeah, we’re so old and aged, we can’t get out of the chairs to leave.

 

What kind of future do you think the MOOPets have in show business?

Waldorf: Any group that impersonates the Muppets has a great future in show business.

Statler: As what? Bouncers?

 

Can you tell which one of you is Statler and which is Waldorf?

Statler: I’m Waldorf.

Waldorf: No, you’re Statler, I’m Waldorf

Statler: Oh boy is my wife gonna be disappointed when you get home.

Waldorf:  I’m the short handsome one.

Statler: And I’m the tall handsomer one.

 

Do you feel Beavis and Butthead stole your act?

Waldorf: Not at all, there’s plenty of heckling to go around.

Statler: Yeah, you gotta love the haters.

 

Do you guys date? I imagine gentlemen like yourselves must have lady callers.

Statler: Ladies love me.

Waldorf: Yeah, but only ‘cause they think you’re me.

 

You’re so critical, what do you actually like?

Waldorf: That’s easy. We like one thing…

Statler: The fact that this interview is finally over!