Question, did you play Lego Indiana Jones?...You did! Congratulations, you just played Lego Indiana Jones 2! Achievement Unlocked: Been There, Done That! Honestly, even if you played Lego Star Wars I would give you credit for playing Lego Indiana Jones 2. The formula in these games hasn’t really changed from title to title so I feel like a full fledged review would be beating a dead horse, which is fun but please be sure the horse is really dead first! I made the mistake of beating a live dead horse once and I never fully recovered from my injuries and I have a permanent horse shoe indentation on my body to this day, point of origin being above my left nuticle, extending the length of my gooch, and wrapping up at the base of my left turd curtain. Nuff said.

Where was I? Oh yes, so in the interest of keeping your interest (that’s a lot of interest!) I will give a brief review of Lego Indiana Jones 2 followed by a short tidbit on my hopes for the future of Lego gaming. Like Lego Indiana Jones, Lego Indiana Jones 2 has you assuming the role of the fedora’d whip-cracker and several other key characters from the Indy universe as you journey through the events of the Indiana Jones trilogy, however, unlike Lego Indiana Jones, Lego Indiana Jones 2 lets you finally play through the 4^th and best *ahem* installment in the Indy franchise, Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull. Finally! With the ability to play as Lego Shia LaBeouf, this is the definitive Lego Indy game.

The Lego games have always been about fun for the whole family and Lego Indiana Jones 2 doesn’t disappoint with its trademark humor and multiplayer mayhem. This game is fun if you embark on it solo but even better with friend in tow. Smash everything in your environment, build contraptions out of Legos to help you progress, and beat down the baddies ‘til their bodies explode and their heads bounce around the ground. Good Stuff! There are some head scratching puzzles, memorable boss battles, and crazy to control vehicle levels thrown in to sweeten the deal. A new addition allows players the ability to create their own levels but I’ve never been into working for my games so I didn’t delve into that aspect too much but I’m sure the Little Big Planet folk will have to put a pillow over their laps while digging into this feature. Minor complaints include constant screen tearing and often confusing objectives but this is solid Lego fun. In fact the only people who won’t like Lego Indiana Jones 2 are dead people and Duplo enthusiasts that feel their time is way overdue.

CraveOnline Rating: 7.5 out of 10

Okay, now that that’s out of the way lets discuss the future of the Lego franchise. I’m getting bored with the same movies getting the Lego treatment. There are plenty of movie franchises that would be a hoot to give the blocky makeover. First, I think as a rule of thumb, a movie has to have at least 3 entries in order to be considered for a Lego game. Sure, there are no brainers like The Lord of the Rings trilogy, The Matrix trilogy, and the Back to the Future trilogy, but I have my own ideas as to which movie trilogies would best be suited to be the next entry in digital world of Lego. Allow me to share my top 5 with you and join me in saying a prayer to baby Jesus that the developers are listening.

5. Lego Free Willy

That pesky Willy has gotten himself netted in 3 films! Why doesn’t he just stay near the ice caps where he belongs?! Because he is in love with a young boy named Jesse who gives good tongue! As Jesse you would use the power of Lego to build jetties for Willy to jump over before he gets caught again. Nobody can pet Willy’s junk mid-air like Jesse can! Oh…now I know why Willy keeps coming back.

4. Lego Look Who’s Talking

This would be a tough translation as the characters in the Lego games do not talk but the movie title is adamant that you look at who is talking. This is why I think it would be a great achievement for the developers to pull off. As Lego John Travolta it will be up to you to keep the talking, or in this case heavy expression giving, babies and dogs out of trouble by dancing and combing your Lego hair. Also you would have to build obstacles to keep Lego baby Bruce Willis from getting to another pair of fun bags other than his mother’s so he won’t drink tainted milk. You could just kick the Danny DeVitodog to shut him up for all I care.

3. Lego Friday

Join Lego Craig and Smokey as they journey from the hood, to Rancho Cucamonga, and back to the hood on their quest to get really stoned and drop dooks on the sides of people’s homes. You could smoke Lego PCP laced joints to enter “bullet time” and run around the streets in your undies acting like a chicken. In the final boss fight against the lazy eyed Deebo you would use the ultimate Lego brick to knock him the f**k out…and knock his scary eyeball back into place, and you know this!

2. Lego Crocodile Dundee

Using Lego blocks to build bigger knives you would play as the leathery skinned Lego Mick Dundee. You could walk on top of people’s heads in the subway station, knocking them off in true Lego fashion during the process in an attempt to win the heart of Sue by incorporating every possible Australian stereotype. Gut Lego crocodiles, fish with dynamite, and travel to Los Angeles to beat up on fake sharks all the while enduring the torture of watching Sue get fatter until she bursts in a fantastic Lego block explosion! You know who that was? Clint Eastwood!

1. Lego Caged Heat

No other movie trilogy deserves the Lego treatment more than the Caged Heat franchise. As any number of sexy lady convict you would build various weapons out of Lego blocks including pillows for a good old fashioned cat fight. Bust through barricades, tear down prison walls, and avoid the evil rape doctor who wants to drug you and slip you his brick. Break out of prison and you will be rewarded with a sexy girl on girl block party complete with piñatas and pastie nips!!! Nice!