By Jeremy Azevedo

Even after all those presentations, press conferences, and closed-door demo sessions, the gaming press still has unanswered questions about E3 2008. Let’s take a look at some of the hottest lingering rumors at the end of the week…

Rumor Number 5: Nintendo is working on a USB hard drive


Wii Ware the f**k am I supposed to keep all this shit?

There was no mention of WiiWare, the Virtual Console, or hard drive’s of any sort at the Nintendo press conference. But with Microsoft and Sony constantly intrducing new SKUs with bigger hard drives every few months, it’s about time Nintendo addresses their glaring storage problems. I hope they figure out something soon, or the WiiWare service is going to die in the cradle.

Rumor Number 4: Bungie to announce a new Halo game


How about Halo 4: Desert Storm, lol!

Bungie’s big reveal was unceremoniously cock-blocked in what was probably a PR stunt to get more people talking about the new Halo project... We are told that this announcement has nothing to do with Halo Wars or the Peter Jackson directed Halo movie that will probably never see the light of day, and that it’s debut will be the centerpiece of it’s own dedicated event. Eh, I don’t know if anyone else agrees with me here, but to me, the third Halo game wasn’t really all that different than the second Halo, which in turn wasn’t really all that different from the first. Now I’m certainly not advocating a Halo-themed party game, fighting game or kart racer, but here’s hoping that Bungie at least has something really different in store for the franchise.

Rumor Number 3: Toshiba to manufacture Xbox 360s


Epic fail or the beginning of a long and prosperous relationship?

Remember that pre-E3 rumor about Microsoft licensing other hardware manufacturers to make Xbox 360s, similarly to 3DO back in the early 90s? I would say it’s a terrible idea, but perhaps Microsoft would rather have someone else deal with the red rings of death for once. I don’t know why on earth Toshiba would want to be involved with Microsoft after getting their ass burned off in the whole HD-DVD debacle, but I overheard some grey haired business suit types whispering about it in the hallways of E3, so who knows?

Rumor Number 2: New Mario and Zelda games are coming


They're making so many girl games now, this may as well be the next Mario title!

Apparently, the Mario and Zelda teams are both hard at work on new games. When pressed for more info, Shigeru Miyamoto had nothing to say, either because it’s too soon to talk more about or because he doesn’t speak English worth dick and couldn’t understand the question. What he did tell us, rather offhandedly, was that there is a new Pikmin game coming. I believe his exact words were: “We’re making Pikmin”. Okay. That’s cool. I guess. A little bit of Pikmin, some Animal Crossing… No wait, no it’s f**king not okay! Goddamnit! Just give us motherf**king Kid Icarus and Punch Out already! What the hell is wrong with you?!

Rumor Number 1: Every single game from Fall 2009 onward to infinity is going to be an MMO whether you want it to be or not.


Who is that mysterious Jedi on the right?

We already know that the next installment of KOTOR is going to be an MMO.  DC Universe: MMO, probably with a competing Marvel MMO to follow. The new Halo game we talked about earlier? Probably an MMO. Sony’s “Massive Action Game”? Kind of an MMO. Animal Crossing would probably be an MMO too if the Wii was worth a damn online. Whatever happened to sitting by yourself in a dark basement playing games with cheeto-stained fingers, trying to figure out how to play Tomb Raider with one hand whilst fondling yourself with the other? I have to talk to interact with people all day long, when I’m gaming, I want to be left the hell alone. Once in a while, online play can be a lot of fun, but it still doesn’t compare to playing in the same room as your friends in any way, in my own opinion. So if you want to make every single game in the universe an MMO, fine, but at least leave some content in the game to make it worthwhile for the sociopathic, agoraphobic shut-ins amongst the gaming community, as they used to be the primary audience once upon a time!