Young children these days are spoiled. They get to jump right into games like Gears of War and enjoy all the perks of ridiculously realistic graphics, controls that allow you to do almost any maneuver thought possible, and stories that rival Hollywood productions. But a lot of us gamers have been here since the genesis. Consider us the "Before Halo" generation to today's "After Halo (A.H.)." We've seen the evolution of the medium, rolled with all the ups and downs, and have the privilege of laughing in the faces of all the people who told us growing up that video games were only for children, only to see the industry grow larger, and become more profitable, than the film business. So consider this weekly column a service to the youngsters. The wee children that never got to experience a multitude of amazing games because they can't get past the pixelated graphics, the overly simplistic controls, or the fact that your only goal is to find the castle that houses the princess. It's time to jump in our Delorean, travel back in time, and look at both the good, and bad, of some of gaming's greatest achievements.
With Eidos having recently announced the collector's edition of Batman: Arkham Asylum and everyone on the internet (myself included) freaking out because we finally have the chance to own a real batarang, I figured it's time to do some digging and pick one of the greatest Batman blunders in gaming and present it as this week's Friday Flashback. Well, it wasn't hard to find some Batman games that would be considered atrocious by gamer's standards, something fellow Crave writer Joey D already handled in his article, but I think he might have missed one very vital candidate for worst with Batman: Return of the Joker, simply because it breaks the first rule of what makes Batman, Batman.
A gun.
It's what the entire Batman mythology boils down to. Bruce Wayne's parents are murdered by a thug with a gun and from that moment forward Bruce vows to rid the world of the evil that took his parent's lives. Serving up cold, hard justice within the confines of the law. Meaning, no guns. ever. The dude hates to even touch them. So why does he rock one so effortlessly in Batman: Return of the Joker?
This little wrist weapon Batman has can be upgraded with power-ups allowing it to spray energized bullets, rockets, etc. Whether the developers intended these projectiles to be batarangs or not is kind of up in the air. They definitely don't look like any batarangs I've ever seen--with some looking like arrows while others look like bullets. It's been a while since I've played this game but upon revisiting it now it seems that this title might not have been developed with Batman in mind at all. I have absolutely no proof of this, but the weapons you use, the enemies you fight (like possessed gargoyle statues), the fact that Batman "rides the lightning" before some boss fights to apparently power-up, and that the final showdown at the game's conclusion is fought against a giant mech with Mr. J as its pilot seems a bit strange and wildly out of place from what I know a Batman story should be like.
Or maybe the developers, Sunsoft, knew it was a Batman game and just didn't give a shit. This is probably the more likely of scenarios and when contracted to make this game they went ahead and made the game they wanted to make, simply applying Batman character models as an afterthought. I also find it kind of funny that this was meant to be a direct sequel to the original 1989 Batman flick, hence the "Return of the Joker" subtitle. Apparently the Joker has really upped his game--going from poisoning Gotham with "Joker gas" at a parade while listening to Prince to hijacking an island and building a giant robot that looks like something out of Contra in order to destroy Batman/ the world.
The game was also hard as hell. I don't think I ever got past the second level because my wrist gun, and sweeping slide attack were just never enough. I was constantly having trouble hitting enemies who were positioned on a ledge above me without getting hit myself or I falling victim to those god-forsaken levels where the left side of the screen tries to catch up to you, and if it does, you die instantly.
Overall, Batman: Return of the Joker was just a poorly realized video game. So the final question is: is Return of the Joker the worst Batman video game ever made? It very well could be. But then again, maybe it's disqualified from the discussion because it offers nothing that resembles Batman at all. Sure his name is on the cover, and his likeness is in the game but that's where the line is drawn. And can you really hold that against poor Bats? Maybe Sunsoft needed to take a page out of Batman's book and give the game a bit more prep-time during development, or you know, actually do some research. But whatever your stance in the argument is, I do know that I spent a lot of my childhood playing this piece of crap and loving it. And I'm pretty sure that means something. And that something is called nostalgia.
