By Ted Hucklebuck

There are so many rad games coming out this month that I’d recommend taking out a small business loan, if I didn’t already know that all the banks were more or less seeking loans of their own...

Now you might ask yourself, “So how are we supposed to afford all these must-have games, then? How are we to get our FIX?!” Thank goodness for the world’s oldest profession, prostitution! Now there’s a cash-generating job that’s 100% recession-proof (Not to mention tax-free)! So tape up your junk under that mini-skirt and head down to the docks for some “hustling”, you nerds! Tell ‘em Ted Hucklebuck sent ya!

Dead Space



System: Xbox 360, PS3, PC
Release Date: 10/14

Imagine if you will, that someone has managed to combine the visceral thrills of Doom with the psychological terror of Silent Hill… That rare combination has given birth to Dead Space, one of the most genuinely scary games any of us may have ever seen. If you are a big wuss, play this one alone in the dark at your own risk, or at least wear a diaper.

NBA Live 2009



System: Multi-Platform
Release Date: 10/8

NBA Live 09 would be just another basketball game if not for one very exciting new feature: Dynamic DNA. Dynamic DNA allows the programmers at EA to build each player as an exact replica of their real life counterpart right down to details so minute that the are almost retarded. Not only that, but the stats are constantly updated each and every day via Xbox Live based on their real life performance. It’s amazing, it works well, and it changes the game for future sports releases in a significant way.

Castlevania: Order of Ecclesia



System: Nintendo DS
Release Date: 10/21

Another year, another side-scrolling masterpiece of 2-D vampire slaying on the DS. This time around, there are a few changes to freshen things up a bit. First of all, there is a female protagonist, whose attacks are based primarily on magic. And not the kind that you can barely use without your magic meter running dry almost immediately, but real, kick ass, self-regenerating combat magic. There is more of an outdoors feel to Order of Ecclesia, as you are finally allowed to explore areas outside of Castle Dracula for once. It’s probably not all two different from the last half-dozen portable Castlevania adventures, and quite frankly, that’s fine with me.

Fable 2



System: Xbox 360
Release Date: 10/21

Back in the day of the original Xbox, Fable was one of the first non-FPS exclusives that really moved systems. The long awaited sequel promises to be one of the most emotionally involving adventures of all time, challenging players to dive into the very soul of the hero or villain that they will become. Will Fable 2 live up to it’s expectations? I sure hope so, because otherwise, creator Peter Molyneux’s ego is likely to implode, possibly creating a black hole that swallows the entire universe.

Golden Axe: Beast Rider



System: Xbox 360, PS3
Release Date: 10/14

It’s a little hard to get used to the idea of playing a Golden Axe game without a partner, but that doesn’t make Beast Rider any les of a cool game. Something about ripping the shit out of some jerk while perched upon some near-rabid monster is just endlessly satisfying for some reason. Though I still harbor a secret hope for an online co-op patch or something later on, at least.

Spider-Man: Web of Shadows



System: Multi-Platform
Release Date: 10/21

Spider-Man games can be hit or miss, as comic book games are apt to be. I think it’s clear that Web of Shadows will be a hit. This title embraces the freedom of movement of the movie based games, the combat and awesome guest stars of the earlier PS1 titles, and a seemingly awesome story that is completely unencumbered by movie or book tie-ins. Especially cool is the ability to switch, mid combo, between Spider-Man’s traditional and symbiote suits without experiencing any emo or dancing related side effects. Dig that Sam Raimi!

Guitar Hero World Tour



System: Multi-Platform
Release Date: 10/26

I know that a lot of you already jumped ship over to Rock Band, but I honestly don’t get it. Rock Band just seems flavorless compared to Guitar Hero. Now that GH has incorporated a full set of instruments, the only questions you should have are: “Do I like personality in my games or generic interfaces?” and “Do I like the played out, obvious songs that are available on Rock Band, or the kick ass, unexpected songs that are actually fun to play that are available in Guitar Hero?” For me, the choice is clear, but I dunno, maybe you like having lots of Fall Out Boy and Avril Lavigne songs available for download or whatever. Whatever floats your boat, I guess.

Fallout 3



System: Xbox 360, PS3, PC
Release Date: 10/28

Of all the games that I play-tested at this year’s E3, Fallout 3 was the one game that I almost had to be dragged away from at gunpoint. It’s so goddamn fun, from the look of it to the weird combat system right on down to the bizarre but slick interface. I cannot recommend this game enough. Fallout 3 bridges the gap between first person shooters, RPGs, and action-adventure games like almost nothing else I’ve played.

Little Big Planet



System: PS3
Release Date: 10/21

Sony seems fairly confident that Little Big Planet will be the killer exclusive app that they need to pull ahead in the console wars. With tons of character, player interaction, unique online play options and seemingly endless modifications available, they may be right. Little Big Planet just feels more “next-gen” than I ever thought a platformer could possibly be.

Legend of Kage 2



System: Nintendo DS
Release Date: 10/7

If you like ninjas, and you like old school 2-D side scrolling action games, you’re sure to be excited about the budget priced sequel to one of the greatest ninja games of the NES era, Legend of Kage. If you don’t like either of those things, you deserve to get punched in the face. For only twenty bucks, you’d be a fool not to pick up the continuation of everybody’s favorite ninja adventure starring a dude with a “Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon” 1000 foot vertical leap!