Whens the last time you saved the world from an alien invasion? Maybe you managed to reclose the portal to Hell last week? Wasn’t you? I thought not. You’ve lived your whole life in relative peace (that third grade bully is totally not our fault) and what thanks have you given the heroes that made it so? None, that’s what! Well don’t worry, as always your friends from CraveOnline have got your back. This time up it’s our man Aaron Seaney to give credit where credit is due, because you don’t have the guts. In the following pages you’ll finally see once and for all who the biggest Bad Ass of all time is (at least as far as video games go). Take it away Aaron.
10. Dante (Devil May Cry)
Don’t be fooled, that sword is 787 lbs. But, the gun isn’t really loaded.
Dante stepped on the scene in 2001 when the PS2 released Devil May Cry. Originally thinking it was your typical hack and slash game, players soon found out that when you have a sword and a set of pistols or a shotgun it makes for a lot of fun combos.
What gives him the BA Boots: Whenever you have a half demon character that is hunting down demons and witches and cutting through puppets you have a pretty awesome character. Now give that character the ability to uppercut a demonwitchpuppet in the air and follow it back down to the ground pumping pistol rounds into it the whole way and you have the makings of one bad ass character. Complete emo hair aside, the story that you follow with Dante learning about his own demon powers makes him one dude in a red leather jacket you don’t want to mess with.
9. Duke (Duke Nukem)
Damn, it’s too bad all those roids shrunk my junk!
And speaking of BA dudes with lame ass haircuts, Duke Nukem makes number nine on the list for his amazing abilities to kill fire breathing aliens and freaky one eyed floating things. Because Duke Nukem is the guy that would make drill sergeants cry and feel like twelve year old girls.
What Gives him the BA Boots: This dude has saved the earth several times, and even has his own biography (Why I’m So Great), and any time you give a steroid filled, crazed, narcissistic maniac, a shotgun, machine gun, and missile launcher you are pretty much guaranteed to have all hell break lose…quite literally. But what it really boils down to is that Duke is the guy that would meet you in a bar, knock you out, kill the bartender to not pay for the tab, then probably drag your girlfriend out by the hair and take her home….the sad thing is she would probably like it because he is just that crazy.
8. Link (Zelda)
"Call me gay! I dare you! I double dare you mutha #$%$#"!!!!
How many times does this little guy have to kill off the crazy bad guys, rescue the princess and restore harmony in Hyrule castle before people call Link bad ass? 14 times is the answer, that and about 20 years. Link has done it all, he has used magnetic boots, he has learned to breathe under water, and he has even managed to turn into a dog. Link is living proof that big things can come in small packages as he has torn his way across the ages, and continues to keep his popularity through the good and the bad.
What gives him the BA boots: Sure link has gay little green tights that make you want to laugh out loud at him whenever he comes on screen, but hey man if you think you can fit a fishing pole, a sword, a shield, two other costumes, 14 health potions, an extra pair of boots, 500 rupees, jars of milk and honey, a bow and arrows all without showing as much as a bulge, and then go beat down on evil doers and save a princess…again, then by all means please go give yourself the boots then take a picture of yourself and send it in so we can all laugh at how gay you look in green tights. The point being is that Link is ultimately B.A. because he has survived one of the hardest tests, the test of time.
7. Mad Dog and Scorpion (Contra)
Anyone who could play a Nintendo in the 80’s probably picked up an extra control and played this co-op shooter. Lance and Bill aka Mad Dog and Scorpion were two marines and were sent down south to New Zealand, to take out Red Falcon an alien organization trying to destroy the earth. This of course sounds nothing like a super marine who heads to Africa to stop an alien race called the Covenant from destroying earth, but that is completely beside the point. The point is you are two mullet wearing hicks who the government decided to give guns to go take down the ugly aliens. And you do….multiple times.
What gives them the BA boots: These two crazy southerners decided that their guns just weren’t enough so along the way you get introduced to these awesome things called weapons up grades, (spray gun anyone?) These two crazy fools couldn’t be stopped by anything, not giant robots, not giant mutants and certainly not a blowing up bridge, you can just tuck your body and perform a perfect Olympic gymnast flip right over that waterfall and then keep on trucking. This game taught us the true meaning of the term: two heads are better than one, and no real gamer has ever forgot that.
6. Leon (Resident Evil 4)
What pisses Leon off is that the knife keeps sliding out the holster!
Though Leon had shown up in previous Resident Evil games, he is in full BA mode in Resident Evil 4, This guy starts taking down much more than just zombies, these are super freaks, this is a bunch of village idiots supped up with serum. The most terrifying and memorable of these creatures? Masked chainsaw man who won’t die without pumping at least a dozen rounds right into his skull. A task that very few could handle but Leon does it with great ease (depending on difficulty level).
What gives him the BA boots: You can literally put anything in Leon’s hands and he will take it and use it to kill a zombie or village freak. And if Leon doesn’t feel like being generous and killing you quick he can put a bullet in your kneecap then jump off of your good leg and kick off your head, probably one of the greatest moves that Capcom produced. So if you’re a zombie and you plan on grabbing this guy in a dark alley I would think twice because chances are he is going to use his crazy cop skills to kick your head right off your shoulders.
5. The Doom Guy (The Doom Series)
The Shotgun, when it comes to killing demons, accept no substitutes.
Speaking of rocking zombies like there ain’t no tomorrow, I think it is fair to mention the ever classic unnamed “Doom Guy.” This dude would run around in the dark killing zombies left and right without even flinching, and he didn’t even have to have a name. But that never stopped him from throwing down on all sorts of freaky things and even leading to his own crap-tastic movie.
What gives him the BA boots: In the doom universe any time you run out of bullets you can still go with your back up plan of the chain saw. This led video games everywhere to the idea of a melee weapon and guns all at once. They could have put a chain saw in anybody’s hands but they chose to put it in the hands of the nameless hero, a guy who when goes into “God” mode his eyes glow and he just blows up or hacks up everything in sight. Even if your own mother was in the room…..oh yeah she’d be dead too. Because the Doom Guy is too bad ass to care.
4. The Prince (The Prince of Persia Series)
Even the best dermatologist in all the land couldn’t fix his skin issues.
This character has been around since 1989 but in my opinion didn’t really show just exactly how BA he was until 14 years later when he was revived for Prince of Persia and the Sands of Time. The first time you experienced running along a wall then jumping off of that wall and stabbing a dude in the chest and turning him to dust you pretty much felt this sense that the prince was not someone to screw with. This game didn’t lose a step with the sequel following a year later in Prince of Persia: Warrior Within. The Prince was back and cooler than ever with all new sand powers. Yet nothing quite seemed to compare once the third installment “Two Thrones” came out. Here was a much darker side of the prince, a prince that could wrap a chain around someone’s neck and pull it off.
What gives him the BA Boots: This game brought in a whole new engine that gamers never thought possible. Not only could you run along walls and do crazy stunts but if you failed, you didn’t have to worry about continuing, instead you could just rewind the game. The sand powers feature basically made the possibilities of game play with the Prince astronomical. You could slow down time and watch you slice and dice your way through massive amounts of bad guys, and if you died you could simply rewind time dodge that killing blow and move on, making this dude number four in the BA list.
3. Ryu Hayabusa (Ninja Gaiden)
Next time I see that *&%#$ Sub Zero, it will be in the street!
Half white, Irish looking dude with red hair plus half ninja equals one full bad ass. Ryu Hayabusa has been around since the early days of the NES when he appeared in 1988 in the first Ninja Gaiden throw down game. He then moved on to a couple of Japan sequels and soon made his way back to the states where he truly came into his own and was featured in the fighting game Dead or Alive (D.O.A.). Now if any character in a fighting game deserved his own RPG its Mr. Hayabusa. Not to mention making appearences in two solo X-Box titles (Ninja Gaiden and Ninja Gaiden Black).
What gives him the B.A. Boots: This dude was pulling off Prince of Persia stunts but didn’t need sand powers. He could jump off a wall and kill a guy with a few well thrown ninja stars. And if that didn’t quite work he would bust out the always amazing katana and slice you up. Let’s face it if you ever need a truly bad ass character in the gaming world you need to give him a sword, then make him either a Ninja or a Pirate, depending on of course which type of sword you gave him.
2. Marcus Fenix (Gears of War)
"How’z about I blow off your torso then kick your legs down the stairs"?
If you won’t give your guy a sword why not attach a freakin’ chainsaw to his gun? That is what Epic Games was thinking when they introduced the world to Marcus Fenix last year in Gears. This game had it all, sniping, shot guns, grenades, and best of all is getting your enemy in chainsaw range then dicing him in half. Best of all was this was not some wussy “saw in half” where you just seem some blood and a full body hits the ground, this was sliced in half two pieces drop and thick nasty blood covers the screen for a few seconds. This is videogame blood at its finest.
What gives him the B.A. Boots: Marcus starts out in prison in the game and soon gets the choice of taking the slow easy training way or you can just be the bad ass he is and go straight to the fight. He is huge, scared, and in charge as he lets nothing stand in his way of his objective. Even if Marcus somehow got killed in battle he wasn’t actually dead because a partner could come revive him, or as Marcus you could always run out and save someone else. Because that’s how he roles, he flips of the respawn points and says: “NO! I will fight through the swarms and save my fallen partner myself.” These and many more reasons put Marcus Fenix amongst the elites of BA video game characters.
1. Master Chief (Halo)
"I’m gonna make it, you two @$$holes? Good $^%&*# in’ luck"!
Shut up, you all saw this coming. Master Chief stepped on the scene when the Xbox launched his title Halo, but of course, if you didn’t already know that then I’m not really sure why you are reading this article. HALO 3 SPOILERS TO FOLLOW IF YOU HAVEN’T BEATEN THE GAME AND DON’T WANT IT RUINED STOP READING NOW!!!
What gives him the BA boots: Master Chief is considered back up….one guy….is back up enough for the Marines to stop being wussies and go out and try to kill some freaking aliens. He managed to do what an entire military force couldn’t, hell he did what the entire covenant couldn’t, he single handedly (with very VERY limited help from the arbiter), takes down the covenant and the flood, saving the human race. He does it without all the hoopla of destroying everything to get rid of the flood. Why? Because he is just that good. And after three games, and all this craziness he still stands, sleeping, waiting, until they wake him on that day in the future when they need him. He doesn’t even care about figuring out what to do. He just says “Yo I’m going to take a nap, wake me up when I’m needed.” You really truly can’t get much more B.A. than that.