Before we dive in, I’ll admit I have my own list of things that I look for in a man (polite, confident, stable, quirky, smart, sexy, interesting, a leader not a follower, etc.), but like many women, most of us have a list of certain things we don’t like to see you do either. From bad behavior in restaurants to dirty home habits and poor hygiene, there are certain things that can be considered semi-annoying or even outright deal breakers. This list is a compilation of comments received from women in recent discussions, online chatter and direct responses received on Twitter when we posed the question, “What are the top 10 details you notice about men?”
1. How You Treat Strangers/Service People
Women on Twitter say they care about how you treat others:
2. What Kind of Car You Drive (but not in the way you think)
3. R-E-S-P-E-C-T for Your Mama
Want to talk trash about the woman who raised you or complain about how your mother was an awful parent? Don’t do it. Or better yet, please do tell us this information so we know in advance that you do not respect women. The way a man feels about his mother has direct ties to how he feels about women in general. Hating on the woman who gave birth to you is just scary.
4. Obsession with Technology Rather Than Intimacy
5. Keeping Your Tooties in Check
Personally, feet don’t really bother me or turn me on. I’m foot neutral. I’ve dated dudes with some pretty gnarly paws, and I was OK with it. Perpetually stinky feet are obviously gross, but I couldn’t care less if your toes look freshly pedicured and if your pads are callus-free. Other women beg to differ, as evidenced through Twitter.
6. Movie-Theater Etiquette
7. Exes and Ohhhs
Bashing your ex on a first date is pretty much the worst thing you can do outside of killing a puppy. If you tell me all your former lovers are psychos, stalkers, cheaters, skanks or sluts: Check, please.
8. Your Smile
According to women, it doesn’t take nine out of 10 dentists to tell you that you should take care of your smile. A quirky grin or slightly crooked teeth can be charming, but bad breath, yellow teeth and or failure to take care of your gums can be a real turn-off. In fact, your smile was one of the top things women said they noticed about a man when asked about it on Twitter. Women will notice if a man takes pride in his grin.
9. Your Opinion of Yourself
Women pick up on the little things, especially regarding how you feel about yourself. A little self-deprecating humor is charming and shows a healthy lack of ego. On the other hand, women like confident men too, so constantly putting yourself down is a total turnoff. If you don’t like yourself, why should we? On the flipside, if you brag about how much money you make, how many girls you’ve slept with or how simply awesome you are, it’s time to go home. Narcissism is a drag.
According to life coach and transition-strategies specialist Steve Truitt, “Self-obsession (or narcissism) is usually a reflection of a man’s inherent need to outdo or out-perform his perception of his father’s strong will or achievements. In positive cases, narcissism can lead to overachievers. While high achievement can be attractive to a woman, she will always want to be the centerpiece in a man’s world. It’s hard enough getting a man to give up the fish tank when you finally move in together, but expecting him to curb his passion in order to glorify you instead is a tall order.”
Note: A good way to spot a narcissist is by looking at his social-media pages. Any guy who posts an endless stream of self portraits, “artistic” or otherwise, is raising a huge red flag. Even worse: if his avatar is shirtless or in a semi-nude state of undress, you might be dealing with a total perv, or at the very least a true vanity case.
10. The Cleanliness of Your Home
Is your abode a safe haven that is mostly free of nastiness and germs, or is it a nest that’s for the birds? If you’re an 18-year-old living in a college dorm room, we can accept that your pad will be a disaster, but nothing says gross like a grown man living like he’s in a frat house. Your place doesn’t have to sparkle like you bunk with Mr. Clean, but chicks want to know you care about your own personal space, as well as your health and safety. After all, your home is probably where you spend most of your time. You don’t have to live in a palace, but you’d better be able to at least give us the illusion that you’re not a hoarder with 17 dead cats decaying under a pile of old comic books, gym socks and beer cans. Clean it up. How else are you going to get us to stay over and cuddle with you?