What does a fallen pop princess do when both her manager and her lawyer quit, she loses custody of her kids, her televised “comeback” performance makes her the laughing stock of the world, and people are putting money on how soon she’ll kill herself? Why, put out a sex tape, of course!

An unnamed man has come forward with what he claims is a tape of he and Britney Spears having sex in a Hawaii hotel room last June. According to him, it wasn’t exactly a night full of fireworks. “It was just normal sex, we didn’t do anything crazy. It was a little disappointing. It lasted for about 25 minutes and then we passed out.” Go figure. The man says he waited four months to release it because he wasn’t happy with his performance. Don’t worry, buddy. Nobody’s going to be looking at you.

Limelight-desperate Britney Spears has said it before: “If they don’t see you, they forget about you. I’m going to make sure that doesn’t happen.” That was likely her motivation behind going out to the clubs and boozing it up just hours after a judge ordered her to turn over her kids to ex-husband Kevin Federline for… wait for it… going out to clubs and boozing it up when she should have had her washed up ass at home taking care of her children. In that case, she should be thrilled to find out someone secretly videotaped her sexytime moments and plans to release them to the public. Can’t wait to see if she lip-synched the moans and dirty talk.

Remember when Britney seemed like such a sweet little country girl and her pop-princess rival Christina Aguilera was the skanktified one? It seems like so long ago…