Asahi Beer Pouring Robot

Are you too lazy to open your own beer? Have you got a mighty thirst for a delicious frosty beverage, but have the motor skills of Stephen Hawking? Asahi’s Beer Pouring Robot is here to help!


Like an alcoholic R2D2

This ingenious robo-pal can refrigerate a six-pack, open and pour you a beer, all the while entertaining you with recordable audio and programmable LCD display. Unlike your own swarthy self, the Asahi Beer Pouring Robot is self-cleaning. It’s like a girlfriend that won’t have sex with you! So it’s more like a wife, really, only not as round.

It takes about as long for the Asahi Beer Pouring Robot to actually finish pouring you a brew as it does to open and drink one yourself, but this does little to diminish the cool factor. Combine with a portable latrine and never leave the couch again!

Beer Pager

Always losing your beer around the house or at parties? The Beer Pager circumvents this problem by providing you with a tiny key that’s even easier to lose!


Possibly the classiest gadget since the advent of the Fart Machine

Assuming that you are capable of holding on to the key, just press the giant red button and a resounding belch will issue forth from your Beer pager beer cozy/coaster. Follow the sound and flashing lights back to your wayward beverage. Crisis averted!

The Beer Pager comes in a the stylish design shown above, and can accommodate virtually any can or bottle! 40oz. drinkers will sadly have to continue duct taping them to their hands, as there are no plans for a larger cozy at this time.

Booze Cruz RC Drinking Game

Do you love drunk driving but hate spending the night in the slammer? Still itchy from the crabs you contracted on your last visit? Be safe and play the Booze Cruz RC Drinking Game instead!


Sobriety Test Playset sold seperatley

Booze Cruz RC comes with a remote controlled car with an indentation for placing a shot glass of your favorite liquor. Also included are cones to be used for building an obstacle course.

How shit-faced drunk can you get and still navigate the course without spilling your drink? Spice things up and buy two so you can play Cops and Drunkards or Lindsay Lohan Coked Out Car Chase!