Rick Rubin did it with the term “Def”, many are trying to do it with the “Metal Horns” and I feel that the term Geek is the next obvious choice. What am I talking about? I’m talking about the death of a term, the final burial of a word or idea that has long since been violated and exploited beyond what it originally meant. The glass that is public perception has allowed “Geek Culture” to float to the top in the last several years and now the term has lost all of its relevance.

It’s no longer a term we can use to describe ourselves because so many claim the name as their own, deserving or not. We must face facts that our days wrapped warmly in the term Geek are over as are the days of the war between Geek Pride and Geek Embarrassment. There were always those of us who embraced being a Geek and being different and then those who desperately wanted to be accepted by the populous at large, hating their forced Geekdom.  

That war has ended and the Geeks that hated being Geeks can now use it as a way to get laid. Sure it bastardizes what the term stood for but they don’t care. These are ideas that have been ripped from us by the thick boney wanting fingers of a mass audience hungry to maintain the illusion that they stand outside the gilded cage.

You can see it in just about every facet of current popular media. The blood is in the water, the sharks have come out and there is little we who have lived under the burden of this term can do but turn our backs and move on. Where once comic book conventions were there for those of us who actually read comic books they are now a focus group with a thousand heads each caught between the crosshairs of the film industry and their marketing oxen.

You can see them perusing the conventions offering riches to lock up the rights to proven and non-proven comic properties in hopes of cornering the next Dark Knight and the profits it returned. Their retinas are burned with dollar signs, their Bluetooth earpieces are permanently in place and they exude a false excitement about comic books that sours the purity of these events. These men and women throw the term “Geek” around without knowing what it takes to be considered part of that group.

This false love of the Geek is apparent in movies, TV, magazines, nearly every facet of popular culture. Some say this is the meek or the “geek” inheriting the earth, that the geeks who all got picked on and put down have grown up into positions of power and that’s where this flood of interest has come from.

While I agree that a few of them have raised to that height most of the people moving in that group are liars, frauds and fakes. To be a geek, a true geek is to not want acceptance and approval at all costs. We as true Geeks are so invested in our passions that we constantly hold what we love up to the fire so that they stay true to their ideals and not become watered down in hopes of making a buck.

What is going on right now are people who desperately want mass acceptance but refuse to admit it so they hide in this Geek army in order to protect their reputations. Look at someone like Quentin Tarantino or Harry Knowles two of the worst violators of what it means to be a Geek. If you really listen to these two or read what they say what you get are two self-serving egotistical frauds who long for nothing but to be seen as cool in Hollywood.

Knowles’ posts on his Ain’t It Cool News website always regurgitate who he knows, what he owns or who he’s met. Nearly every post reads like a desperate attempt to convince us he’s still a true Geek when the simple truth is that he has been bought and paid for. It would almost be more honorable for him to admit he’s in love with the Hollywood Machine than to continue this charade. Instead we’re forced to labor through his company bought opinions. Knowles never counters anything unless it has been understood it’s ok to dislike it. For instance he refuses to admit how bad The Spirit movie looks but he continues to rage against the newer Star Wars movies.

Tarantino is a different type of false Geek. He is desperate to exude cool while always trying to tell us he doesn’t care about being cool. Largely his films are rip-offs of better movies, his dialogue is dated and his ability to direct questionable. What he can do is throw a thousand references and visuals at you to try and hide the fact that his movie is essentially pretty lame.

This attitude stretches across genres e.g. horror hacks Eli Roth and Rob Zombie and it even has started to poison those who should know better. Frank Miller has turned from being the point person to those of us who believe comic books are literature and art into another victim of the Hollywood “Geek Madness”. He tries to pretend he’s outside the wolf pack but look at his disrespect of Batman in All Star Batman And Robin or his complete slap to Will Eisner in the form of his horrid Spirit movie. Even his own Sin City was stripped of what made the book gritty and exciting in order to create what seemed like a nightclub where celebrities could act tough.

Celebrities are a large part of my desire to end the term Geek. If I hear one more celebrity claim their love of comic books I might have re-think changing my mind on California sliding into the sea. Sure there are some actual comic book fans like Nic Cage but for the most part this is yet another bandwagon for them to jump on. It reminds me of when actors wore flannel during the Grunge era or when they try to dress way too cool and casual to pose for pictures at Sundance. It’s too forced to be believable and too obvious to be true Geekdom.

Outside of comic book movies we have had to suffer with a slew of “Bumbling Geek” movies. This type of film is starting to be repeated much like the Guy-Girl-Car-Gun movies of the early nineties supposed independent film movement. Movies like Superbad, Nick And Nora’s Infinite Playlist or the upcoming Adventureland aren’t necessarily bad films but they are repetitive. Geeky guy with extreme characters around him must get through a lighthearted situation and learn about himself. Does that sound familiar?

TV is also overrun with geek shows that suck but are continually pushed on the public largely because the TV World believes that Geeks instantly mean money. Look at a show like Heroes, which even the fans admit hasn’t been watchable since season one and you’ll understand the problem. When you have people involved with a show like that who don’t understand the fundamental ideas of what made superheroes amazing the show will ring false. In other words you just don’t believe anybody involved gives two shits about comics or superhero folklore.

I realize Jeph Loeb has a pedigree in the world of comic books but unless it’s noir Batman books he really isn’t anything to be amazed at. Don’t believe me, check out his recent run on Wolverine. Now the show doesn’t even have Loeb so who knows how bad it might get.

Lost is another show that has cashed in on this Geek Madness but its condescension has gone a different route. Instead of just tossing out awful shows like Heroes Lost just acts like it doesn’t care about its fan base. A year between seasons, six shows in a season, making the whole thing so confusing that nobody cares, etc. Lost figures that the Geeks will just suck it up and accept it because the show is that cool. If they’re not careful Lost will end up reviled like the last two seasons of X-Files or it’s most recent film adaptation.

Another insult to the true Geek is the sitcom Big Bang Theory. It’s not that the show sucks, in fact it’s quite funny, but a sitcom about Geeks is clearly a marketing tool having nothing to do with the group it tries to exploit. Then there’s Knight Rider, which is supposed to appeal to the Geek nostalgia group, and even though it is one of the worst shows on TV it remains on the air.   

The constant remakes, the old TV shows being brought to screen, the assault of uncomfortable yet charming characters in funny situations even the idea that Marvel has geared themselves more towards making movies than creating great comic books is all a result of this Geek Madness.  

Even in the world of print Geek Madness is forced on us. A great magazine like Geek is often overlooked because the same subject matter is covered in date-rape handbooks like Stuff or Maxim. The folks that read Stuff and Maxim aren’t Geeks but they don’t want left out of the latest trend they can latch onto. Meanwhile Geek magazine struggles to find readers.

A store like Urban Outfitters sells T-shirts with the Flash on them but most of the people who shop there wouldn’t know Wally West from Wally World. Halloween brought out 1000 Jokers but all derived from the movie, I didn’t see one Joker from the actual comic book.

On more Wednesday’s than I’d like to admit I’ve been in New England Comics picking up my weekly books when some meathead or fashionista rolls in and says “I’m looking for, like, The Watchtower or The Watching or something like that. It’s like based on that movie.” Yep, The Watchmen comic is based on the movie, thanks and here’s a poke to eye for your troubles.

The term Geek now finds itself as a label for a demographic, a synonym for cash and a way to rate how much money something will make. Designers attempt to cash in on the term by creating expensive black-rimmed glasses and high-end zip up sweatshirts. Everybody is a Geek now and everybody feels they are outside the mainstream, which begs the question “Then what exactly is the Mainstream?”

With all of this going on in the name of “Geek” I say to my fellow true Geeks that we retire the name and allow what little dignity it has left to be shredded by the wolves with red eyes who ingest everything that’s good and shit it out into a horrid pile of putrid waste. I say we turn to the term Dork as our new banner. It has the same history but it has a harsher tone and a more aggressive sound. It can’t be rhymed with Chic and it almost sounds like an insult. All of this exploitation of us and our passions will eventually die out but when it goes the term Geek will still have lost its meaning. Let’s retire it, bury it and remember it for the better days it lived.

Before the dark times, before the Empire.