#10 Erin Densham
Austrialia
Triathalon



This chick can outrun you, outswim you, out-cycle you (I know, who cares right?) and probably outdrink you too, considering that she’s Australian and all!

Did she win?
Nope!

#9 Alona Bondarenko
Ukraine
Tennis



Comes from a family of tennis stars, has two hot sisters that she usually plays doubles with. (Just not with you.)

Did she win?
The hell if I know. I’m guessing no?

#8 Victoria Pendleton
England
Cycling



Maybe the only person alive that could ever inspire one to consider a career as a bicycle seat.

Did she win?
Yep, gold.

#7Ana Ivanovic
Serbia
Tennis



The hottest thing to come out of Serbia since… since… um… potted meat?

Did she win?
Withdrew due to injury, just like Maria Sharapova and every other tennis chick in the whole goddamn world, apparently.

#6 Almudena Cid
Spain
Rythmic Gymnastics



Rythmic gymnastics: A nice way of saying “strippers”!

Did she win?
Nope.

#5 Juliana Veloso
Brazil
Diving



If there was an Olympic competition for most fap-worthy female atheletes, Brazil would win by a landslide.

Did she win?
Lol nope! (Beginning to see a pattern here?)

#4 Francesca Piccinini
France
Volleyball



Piccinini’s talents include volleyball (obviously), looking good naked, and I’m not sure I care about the rest of them. Do you? I didn’t think so.

Did she win?
Pwned by the US. Naturally.

#3 Stephanie Rice
Australia
Swimming



Ol’ Stephanie Rice manages to balance her training regiment with a party girl lifestyle, something most of the dorks in the Olympics couldn’t even dream of doing.

Did she win?
3 gold medals!

#2 Leryn Franco
Paraguay
Javelin Throw



Probably a better model than an athlete, but we won’t hold that against her, will we?

Did she win?
No, no, no. Noooooo. Absolutamente no.

#1 Bia and Branca Feres
Brazil
Synchronized Swimming



Oh my sweet lord, there are two of them! Coming soon to a beer commercial near you!

Did they win?
They didn’t even go! Doesn’t matter.