At 77 years old, Don Wildman has competed in nine Ironman triathlons, won all three of the Chicago Yacht Club’s Mackinac races in a single year, run the New York and LA marathons, and raced his bike 3,000 miles across America. When he was 73, he paddled a surfboard across the entire chain of Hawaiian islands. He also thinks you’re a sissy. He doesn’t know you, but it’d be hard to tell him he’s wrong.
Probably, there is something wrong with Wildman’s brain. Most septuagenarians spend their days A) watching television or B) being dead, but he gets up every morning and does the Wildman Circuit. It’s a multi-stage workout that punishes muscles and cardiovascular systems with no breaks between sets and no stops for water.
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Guess which one is 77 years old.
With sixteen groups of exercises executed in as many as six sets and 3,000 reps, the Wildman circuit works every muscle group and just might make you live forever. It will definitely make you want to die. Athletes and ambitious celebrities from all over the world come to Wildman’s gym to do his circuit with him, and most of them throw up.
Maybe you don’t want to do it six times at 30 reps per step while a 77 year-old man yells at you about the likely structure of your genitals, but you can still do the Wildman Circuit once or twice on your own. All you need is a gym membership, and probably a plastic bag.
Each of the groups below is designed for a specific number of sets and reps, alternating exercises within the group between sets, for a total of six trips through the circuit. Unless you are an Olympic wrestler, don’t do that. Consult your doctor, don’t eat too much beforehand and take one 10-rep trip through the circuit before you start jacking things up. With any luck, you’ll live to be 77, too.
Group 1
A) Seated Dumbbell Shoulder Presses: 3 sets, 30/20/10 reps
B) Seated Dumbbell Curls: 3 sets, 30/20/10 reps
To work your rotator cuff, move your hand from perpendicular to parallel with your shoulder while keeping your elbow fixed.
Group 2
A) Seated Machine Shoulder Presses: 3 sets, 30/20/10 reps
B) External Rotator Exercises: 3 sets, 30 reps
C) Seated Leg Raises: 3 sets, 30 reps
D) Side Crunches: 3 sets, 30 reps
Group 3
A) Pec Deck Flys with Simultaneous Crunches: 3 sets, 30 reps
B) Lying Rotator Cuff Rotations: 3 sets, 30 reps
Group 4
A) Seated Machine Bench Presses: 3 sets, 30/20/10 reps
B) Seated Leg Raises: 3 sets, 40 reps
Group 5
A) Seated Lever Rows: 3 sets, 30/20/10 reps
B) Sit-ups: 3 sets, 40 rep
Like all the best ab exercises, the cable crunch should look as if you are begging to die.
Group 6
A) Lat Pulldowns: 3 sets, 30/20/10 reps
B) Cable Crunches: 3 sets, 40 reps
Group 7
A) Leg Presses: 3 sets, 30/20/10 reps
Group 8
A) Barbell Upright Rows: 3 sets, 30/20/10 reps
B) Alternating Sit-ups on Exercise Ball: 3 sets, 40 reps
Group 9
A) Ab Machine Side Crunches: 3 sets, 40 reps
B) Machine Back Extensions: 3 sets, 40 reps
Group 10
A) Machine Squats: 3 sets, 40 reps
B) Calf Raises: 3 sets, 30 reps
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For god’s sake, start out with less weight than you think for neck extensions.
Group 11
A) Lying Leg Curls: 3 sets, 30/20/10 reps
B) Neck Extensions: 3 sets, 30/20/10 reps
Group 12
A) Leg Extensions: 3 sets, 30/20/10 reps
Group 13
A) Machine Bicep Curls: 3 sets, 30/20/10 reps
B) Regular and Alternating Sit-ups: 3 sets, 20 regular, 20 alternating
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Enough lateral raises and you could be governor someday.
Group 14
A) Seated Dips: 3 sets, 30/20/10 reps
B) Seated Scissors: 3 sets, 40 reps
Group 15
A) Lateral Raises: 3 sets, 30 reps
B) Side Neck Extensions: 3 sets, 30/20/10 reps
C) Leg Lifts with Split: 3 sets, 40 reps
Group 16
A) Front Neck Flexions: 3 sets, 30/20/10 reps
B) Machine Crunches: 3 sets, 40 reps
Dan Brooks writes about politics, consumer culture and lying at Combat!
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