By Nathan Jordan |
The summer movie season is finally winding down. The good news, for those of you sick of giant robots and killer hangovers, is that Hollywood is about to get serious with its perennial unleashing of prestige films and Oscar hopefuls. |
Not sure what to look forward to? We here at CraveOnline have sorted through this fall’s upcoming release schedule and picked out the cream of the Oscar crop. So clear your calendar for these Academy shoo-ins and get your ballots ready!
HIROSHIMA
Oscar winner Kate Winslet plays Linda Zeitchik, a veterinarian with a heart of gold. When Linda accidentally stumbles upon the secrets of time travel, she jumps back to World-War-2 era Hiroshima to save all of the puppies before 80,000 people are killed by a 15-kiloton atomic bomb. September 25th.
A VERY NAZI CHRISTMAS
Hanna Schmitz is going to steal your heart all over again. Unless you’re a jew.
In this heart-warming prequel to The Reader, Oscar winner Kate Winslet returns as everyone’s favorite illiterate Nazi, Hanna Schmitz. Taking place a few years before letting Jews burn to death in a church fire, Hanna returns home from Third Reich duty for the holidays and must deal with her eccentric family. Father won’t stop making her try his homemade sausages and Mother insists on fixing her up with her obnoxious cousin, Guttenberry. To make matters worse, Hanna’s brother gives her a set of encyclopedias for Christmas! When Hanna falls for the 11-year-old boy next door all bets are off. A comedy, a drama and a love story, A Very Nazi Christmas shows all sides of the Holocaust, but mostly just the Nazi side. November 21st.
LITE-BRITE THE MOVIE
Oscar Winner Kate Winslet plays Mary McMurray, a lonely librarian who finds an old Lite-Brite toy in her attic. Late one night Mary tries some heroin, and the Lite-Brite magically transforms into the man of her dreams. Happier than she’s ever been in her life, Mary soon discovers that her joy has a price—a severe heroin addiction. Soon Mary must chose between true love and keeping her job at the Warsaw Township Public Library. October 9th.
TRAIL OF TEARS: THE MUSCIAL
Oscar winner Kate Hudson in full makeup as Chief He Who Seeks Golden Man.
Oscar winner Kate Winslet is magically transformed into He Who Seeks Golden Man, a Choctaw chief being forcibly relocated with his tribe from the American south to the untamed frontier of the wild west in this 3-D musical event for the whole family. Sure to sweep the Original Song nominations, Trail of Tears: The Musical features such soon-to-be-classic tunes as: “I Never Met an Injun I Didn’t Kill,” “You’ve Scalped My Heart,” and “These Itchy Blankets.” December 6th.
MOM’S RETARDED
Oscar winner Kate Winslet plays Marge, a mentally challenged mother with three genius children. When one of her children develops a cure for retardation, Marge eagerly accepts the treatment but quickly learns that not being retarded isn’t everything that it’s cracked up to be. October 23rd.
I LOVE THE ACADEMY
Oscar winner Kate Winslet solicits yet another vote in I Love the Academy.
In the tradition of Super Size Me and Roger and Me, Oscar winner Kate Winslet directs this epic 78 hour documentary where she attempts to go on a “date” with every singe member of the academy before they vote for the Best Actress and Best Supporting Actress categories. Part sex farce, part documentary, I Love the Academy has the distinction of featuring the most happy endings in film history. Kate ultimately ends up with a sore wrist, but will she end up with Oscar gold? December 18th.
