 By Jeremy Azevedo |
Los Angeles is the kind of place in which you can have a completely unique experience from one day to the next, regardless of how long you’ve lived there or how jaded you may think you are. This last weekend, it was never more apparent just how much more jaded I could one day aspire to be! |
I live in a neighborhood in which it is not uncommon to see an ice cream truck operating at 10pm, in the rain, in the middle of winter. Graffiti appears and disappears from the walls like magic. Every other car is a Monte Carlo with rims. The other day, someone threw a Molotov cocktail (a glass bottle filled with gasoline and thrown like a grenade) in the street and no one was particularly surprised or alarmed. What I’m getting at is that my weekend stay at the London Hotel in Hollywood was pretty much the exact opposite of my usual daily life.
This is much nicer than the shithole where I live! I can't even hear any gunshots!
The room even comes standard with one (1) tasty babe per guest.
As a guest of Axe, who was in town for the X Games, I experienced a brief glimpse of the “celebrity” lifestyle; Shuttled around in black SUVs to trendy restaurants that serve imported beef (fed with beer and sake) that you can cut with a fork… Table service at the club with champagne that costs more than my paycheck and an army of scantily clad waitresses that pretend (very convincingly!) to like you… A hotel room that’s bigger than some of the apartments I’ve lived in, the bathroom itself larger than my current bedroom… I’m not sure I understand what this impressive display of opulence has to do with fracturing your tibia on a BMX bike at the X Games, but you won’t hear me complaining, that’s for goddamn sure.
Me enjoying a delicious oyster, and wearing a t-shirt in a fancy restaurant like some kind of retard.
