Wait, hold that thought, back up, construct a time machine and a coconut radio and let’s go down a 3 hour tour through time.
Speaking of coconut radio, She had a real nice set… of radios.
Travel back with me, 6 or 7 years ago. Hold my hand, no not you dude, the chick… jesus! Fine anyway the year was 2003… or 2004. Drew’s self titled show was in it’s last 2 seasons, many things had changed. There were new main cast members, new locations, the old department store was gone and the gang now worked at a .dot.
Before the Drew show, before I’d even registered at Central casting to do background work, I worked for an online car site running the chat room. When I had my interview (not audition) they asked what I did… but that’s another story.
Also, I just want to take a moment to piss off some struggling actors. Drew Carey was my first gig from Central casting, I got 2 seasons of regular background work from it and my SAG Card. Neener neener neeeener. I pretty much didn’t work again after that (or audition)– oh, until I got the audition to be Raz on ‘Tim and Eric Awesome Show great Job’. Which I got! (so, in your face again).
Somewhere in seasons 8 and 9 of Drew Carey you’ll see a little white boy with dreadlocks (video below 4:12 ) wandering around an office of Hipsters and New Media types. These were my friends, in fact my best friend Marie and I met on set. She’s the smoking hot Asian chick.
OK let’s move along. So Christopher Guest’s ‘Best in Show’ had just come out and I wanted to go see it. I asked several people on set if they wanted to go, but alas nobody did. Except this one short, blonde PA. She said yes and our plans were set!
I was pretty excited to see the movie and wanted to get there early, so as I anticipated getting there early Invited her over to dinner. I cooked some kind of chicken dish and we ate at my coffee table, sitting on the floor. All bohemian style and shit yo. Then we swept away off to the movie. God I love me some Parker Posey.
So somewhere between dinner and the movie I learned something that I was very unaware of prior. Her last name was Carey. Furthermore, she’d come out from Cincinnati to live with her Uncle in his guest House, across the street from Marilyn Manson and work on the show. I may have also learned he was like 18 or something insane.
We watched the movie and I drove her back to my place where her car was parked. I walked her to her car, and there was an awkward goodbye pause.
It suddenly dawned on me, I just cooked this girl dinner, I took her out to a movie, we’d laughed we’d talked, I walked her to her car – she was expecting a kiss. I just went on a date with Drew Carey’s Niece! I also realized I’d already said my goodbyes and returned to my apartment alone. Oops?
Years later I tried to explain to her that we hadn’t gone on a date and if she wanted to I would eagerly entertain that notion. But apparently she was over it, so instead I ate pancakes. Pancakes fucking rule!
Sam Proof is an LA based writer/director, founder of podpocalypse.com and executive producer of SamProof.tv. Visit his website, or shoot him a tweet @samproof
Drew Carey's IMPROV-A-GANZA premires April 11th on the Game Show Network!
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