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NORMAL?

What is Normal? Guest what, its not you!

NORMAL….

 

I am 28 years old, an average age, I am 5’9, blonde hair, blue eyes, medium build, Caucasian, male.  Normal by all accounts, although this sounds more like some disgusting online hook up profile LOL.   However “NORMAL” I may seem,  I was also a professional dancer, with a nearly genius level IQ, and oh yeah I have sex with other dudes.  So, I suppose that begs the question what is NORMAL?

Oh great you are probably thinking…..some incredibly self-important diatribe from an artsy fartsy Hollywood queer, lamenting how everyone wants him to be normal or wants to put him in some proverbial box which is impossible because nothing can contain the brilliance that is him…..LOL, yeah F’ing right.

I don’t like the term normal, I don’t think most people do.  I think they hear the word ordinary, and or lacking in anything special, but more importantly I think NORMAL ISN’T NORMAL.

Seriously when anyone describes someone as normal they turn out to be a serial killer who wears a bunny costume to hunt his “eggs” (victims) throughout the teeming garden that is the suburban jungle.  I mean who is NORMAL?  Does having a 9 to 5 job make you normal?  Does heterosexuality make you normal (trust me the answer to this one is no, because I know a bunch of breeders who are freaky as all get out and the ish they be doin is anything but normal)  And further more who decides what is normal and why do they get to decide?  I’m serious does anyone have an answer?

 

Matt Damon thinks there is some crazy “Ajustment Bureau” that uses fedora’s to alter the future, and I think if I saw someone wearing a fedora with no irony it would alter my future.

I think the middle of the country thinks Sarah Palin decides on normal.  Meanwhile she hunts wolves on a snow mobile while her daughter has illegitimate children with her half-wit boyfriend and then accepts speaking engagements to promote abstinence.  Uh  I think that ship has sailed, and I know some people say that she is preaching abstinence knowing the perils of premarital sex, no she is preaching abstinence because a 15,000 dollar check for preaching an hour of hypocrisy gives you the same orgasm as getting laid (and pregnant) in the backseat of your half-wit boyfriends 94 Tercel.

 

= NORMAL?

I think at the end of the day we all, in our own way, attempt to steer the definition of normal.  We want some sort of standard to judge ourselves and OTHERS by.  It makes us feel comfortable and definitely gives us the basis for a bunch of hurtful jokes about how “weird” someone is, which will make us feel better about ourselves, even though we know it is deflective and hateful.  Oh really, hate on my assertion all you want but trust me you still gossip and you always will.  Much like you’ll always complain about your weight and talk shiz on celebrities and atheletes and have at least one friend who is heavier than you so that by comparison you are hot.  We are human, with all that entails, and trust not one iota of that is normal

 

We have no idea what this means, but we feel it must prove Ryan's point.