
Wanna know what’s happening on the web this week? There are teen queens, Marines, a song that brings screams, the return of a meme and a resignation burrito supreme! Here’s the week in viral:
How To Talk Like Kristen Stewart
If you wanna… y’know… uh… talk like the girl from Twilight or… whatever… watch this? [Barely Political]
The Return of Rebecca Black

Rather than embed her much talked about follow-up to “Friday,” here’s a “Game of Thrones” reference. You’re very welcome. [Buzzfeed]
Big Blue Ball Machine IRL
First, watch this classic bit of internettery, if you haven’t already. Then enjoy the sweded version.
Marine Asks Out Betty White
Unlike his fellow Marines, who scored dates with Justin Timberlake and Mila Kunis, this soldier ultimately got rejected. The lesson: old people will always prefer singing telegrams.
Take This Job and Stuff It Up Your Gordita Hole

For a resignation this awesome, he really had to think outside the bun. [TDW]
See you next week for more links. Not less, but more! More, I say. If anyone said there’d be less links, then look that person in the eye and call them what they really are: a goddamn liar.
Geoffrey Golden is the Editor in Chief of The Devastator, “The Quarterly Comedy Magazine For Humans,” in comic book stores across the country.