WARNING: Some lyrics are NSFW (which means, Not Safe For Work, as in, don't put this on your PC's history at the cubicle job. Unless of course you do it private. And no one's looking. That'll totally work.)
Hip Hop is alive and well in the mythical year of 2011. And whether these singles came out 8 years ago or not is be-west-side the point. Nerds can rap ya'll! They're funny. Smart. And probably single. Which means if they were a girl you would date them. Even if they'd whip your ass in some Unreal Tournament on PC or know more about the "Large Hadron Collider" and Star Trek than you could ever imagine.
It's called Nerdcore. Look it up.
These groups cut tracks harder than diamonds but sweeter than soft serve. They got verve. Happy to dish out a rhyme scheme that seems absurd. Word. So if you're having a bad day, or your day's about to jump off, hit play on this YouTube and tell em Sam sent you to p*** the world off. BOOM!
FUTURISTIC SEX ROBOTZ
"Positronic Pimp" – This is a dope song about Data from Star Trek. He's the most mack when it comes to that intergalatic booty attack. Super smart and strong he lasts all night long, and the Futuristic Sex Robotz got his back.
The Futuristic Sex Robotz haven't been seen around the internet since about 2007, which is a crying shame, but anyone who has listened to their album can attest it's one of the most solid first outings from a Nerdcore group ever heard. These guys were funny, and had great personalities, which would get them through a Miss America pageant until the swimsuit competition.
"If I Ruled The World" – A perfect example of whole group lyricism. Every member of the group posits what they would do if they ruled the world. This song will stick in your head for days after listening to it. Which is not a bad thing.
Check out their whole album "Hotel Coral Essex" for FREE here
"Cop Knife" – If you can figure out what Jeff Gerstmann is rapping about please send the lyrics to me. This is a brilliant parody of "rap rock" tropes set over the top of subway and Robotron 2084 footage. It might be the funniest thing I've ever heard.
While Midnight Brown is formally not a Nerdcore group, their wild lyrical sensibilities and attention to sweet beats make this group worth checking out. I found out about them around 2006, and have been bumping their music ever since. Their front man, the aforementioned Jeff Gerstmann is actually a game journalist, so Midnight Brown hasn't been performing lately due to his commitments at Giantbomb.com.
"Gravyrobbers" – Old school story song about groundskeepers doubling as gravy robbers. No joke. Just give it a listen.
Their albums can be found for FREE (all four of them!) right here
"Bizzarro Genius Baby" – A lyrically dense tune about a baby girl who is super smart when she is born, essentially becoming a bigger and bigger threat to the planet. No, I'm not talking about my baby niece. Great animated video to accompany it too!
MC Frontalot is the poster child for Nerdcore, primarily due to a documentary made about him "Nerdcore Rising" which I had the benefit of seeing it's west coast premiere a few years ago. But he's legit, having released five albums already! He's known for his rapid-fire, dense, and amazingly complex lyrics. Cribbing from sources like video games, math, and even text adventure games!
"It Is Pitch Dark" – I saved the dorkiest, best track for last. A description of a tense text adventure session that spills all over the place. It shows MC Frontalot with his most lugubrious rhyme schemes and catchiest chorus. In my opinion. It also features a harpsichord breakdown, which is totally dope.
MC Frontalot has merch, iTunes, and tour info here
For more from the Nerdcore culture, including getting bloodstains out of your pocket protector contact the author here @cravesam