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The Big List: Michael Fassbender! Nickelback Snaps! Disneyland Weirdness!

Nickelback goes on a Twitter rampage. Plus: how to get fired from Disneyland.

Time to pretend you’re an annoying text messaging service, text your friend, keep texting your friend, text so much you can tell he’s gonna destroy his phone if he receives one more text, text him again, lulz, then check out these links!

 

Did Michael Fassbender’s Big Johnson Cost Him An Oscar?

http://filmdrunk.uproxx.com/2012/01/obviously-michael-fassbenders-monstrous-fasspenis-doomed-his-oscar-chances

Best reason not to get nominated ever.

 

Nickelback Officially Sick Of Nickelback Jokes

http://nymag.com/daily/entertainment/2012/01/nickelback-is-finally-tired-of-all-your-jokes.html

And yet, the jokes continue. [image via]

 

2/10 – Would Not Bang

http://www.uproxx.com/webculture/2012/01/meme-watch-210-would-not-bang-is-here-to-help/

Check out the hotties the internet claims are notties.

 

Crazy Corporate Rules For Working At Disney Parks

http://www.thedailybeast.com/articles/2012/01/25/disney-parks-craziest-corporate-rules-beards-ok-tattoos-still-out.html

The Mouse takes mustaches very seriously. [image via]

 

The Amazing Cat Texts Prank

http://www.buzzfeed.com/mattcherette/masterful-cat-facts-texting-prank

Ferret Facts is even worse.

 

That’s all for this edition of The Big List. Join us next week, because these links ain't gonna click themselves.

 

Geoffrey Golden is the Editor in Chief of The Devastator: The Quarterly Comedy Magazine For Humans!