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The Big List: Batman! Obama’s Ex-GF! Laser Sharks!

The Dark Knight Rises on the interwebs, but can he stop the laser sharks?!

Time to run errands and take your young daughter along, go to the tanning salon, tell your daughter to hop into a booth, both of you get crispy, get caught when someone asks about your child’s burns, get arrested, reconsider your love of tanning and check out these links!

 

The Dark Knight Rises Begins Rising Online

http://www.fastcocreate.com/1680717/dark-knight-rises-digital-campaign-takes-flight

Just in time to upstage those Avengering guys?

 

Obama’s Ex-Girlfriends Discuss The President

http://www.buzzfeed.com/gavon/16-revelations-about-young-barack-obama-from-his-e

Articles like these make me never want to run for public office.

 

New Jersey Mom Arrested For Taking Her 6-Year-Old Tanning

http://newsfeed.time.com/2012/05/02/new-jersey-mom-arrested-for-taking-5-year-old-to-tanning-booth/

It’s Take Your Daughter To Burn Day!

 

CBS Gives Ashton Kutcher A Raise For Two and a Half Men

http://www.starpulse.com/news/index.php/2012/05/02/cbs_to_give_two_and_a_half_men_star_as

While the rest of America wonders if their unemployment checks will continue.

 

Sharks With Lasers Is Now A Thing

http://www.wired.com/gadgetlab/2012/05/wicked-lasers-shark/

It’s the end of the world as we know it. The world where sharks didn’t have laser beams attached to them.

 

Geoffrey Golden is the Editor in Chief of The Devastator: The Quarterly Comedy Magazine For Humans!