Why go through life playing by the rules? We here at CRAVE ONLINE do. But that’s just because we have jobs and friends and things to lose. However, how better to keep yourself entertained on a long plane ride, than to think about funny ways to get kicked off the plane? Well, you’re in luck. We’ve come up with 25 awesome ways to get thrown off.
Obviously, we would never endorse this sort of behavior, because that would be silly. But, We here at CRAVE have nothing but respect show nothing but obedience with the FAA. BUT, this is still funny. But, seriously, this is funny. But seriously, don’t do it. But, seriously, pretty funny.
Take a look:
1. Download and watch American History X and cheer for Edward Norton’s character throughout the first half.
2. Poop your pants and blame everyone else but yourself.
3. Start reading and praying from the Necromonicon aloud.
4. Tell the young girl next to you that you suffer from anxiety boners upon takeoff.
5. Start every sentence with – “You ever notice how Asians always…”
6. Have your first name be Al followed by a hyphen (ex. “al-hassan”).
7. Call the Oakland Raiders a bunch of queers (Oakland only).
8. Call the queers a bunch of Oaklanders (San Francisco only).
9. Tell the elderly people next to you the best way to smuggle drugs is to hollow out a baby.
10. Make love to the vomit bag.
11. Change your cell phone ring tone to any Lynard Skynard song before takeoff.
12. Tell people you’re saving the seat next to you for some little kid who’s traveling without their parents.
13. Start telling people about the “crazy” dream you had last night when half the cabin got sucked out of the plane.
14. Fart on whoever is reading 50 Shades of Grey on the plane. There’s at least one. Trust us.
15. Call Jennifer Lopez and “American Icon,” and claim there is no reason Insane Clown Posse shouldn’t be in the rock’n’roll hall of fame.
16. Take a lot of mushrooms.
17. Show people your tattoo… that you did yourself… in the bathroom… just now.
18. Start talking about explosive devices the rhyme with “mom.”
19. Start offering free massages… with your tongue…
20. Fill your carry-on with aged sharp cheddar.
21. Punch yourself in the genitals until you pass out.
22. Be Tyler Perry.
23. Blast Dubstep out of your earphones so the entire f*ckin’ plane can hear it.
24. Casually read Penthouse like it were a leather-bound book.
25. Show up before your flight about four hours early and hit the airport bar. Tell ‘em Craveonline.com sent you. Chances are, one of us is already there.
CRAVEONLINE wishes you very safe and responsible travels!