In case you’ve had your head in the sand all week, San Diego Comic Con has been going on all week, and the show floor is packed with fans, cosplayers, collectors, and the like. All of them are super excited and all of them are constantly updating their status on Facebook.
But, how do you know what your friends are really trying to say. Well, luckily, we here at CRAVE have developed a helpful little guide to help you figure out what your friends at SDCC are really trying to say during a fanboy’s biggest week!
Take a look:
Aegon The Dragonslayer (about an hour ago): Bow down before me, all of Comic-Con. For the Dragonslayer has come to feast!
What they’re really trying to say: “Pissed Burger King stopped serving Sausage croissants before 11.”
Bryan (16 hours ago): Just met the one of the writers of the fifth draft of Starship Troopers! My life is now complete
What they’re really trying to say: “I don’t often drink myself into a blackout coma, but when I do, I do it with a mixture of Bacardi and Mountain Dew: Code Red.”
Stacey (yesterday): Just got interviewed about my awesome Manga costume on the show floor!
What they’re really trying to say: “When I say ‘interviewed,’ I mean I was photographed. When I say ‘show floor,’ I mean some guy’s hotel room. And when I say ‘costume,’ I mean it crumpled on the floor and I was crying.”
Matt (4 hours ago): Who does a guy have to blow to get a soft pretzel around here?
What they’re really trying to say: “I shouldn’t have been so eager to do so with the Sons of Anarchy cast.”
Mike (6 hours ago): Just saw John Cena and Randy Orton crossing the street. HOLY F*CKING AWESOME!
What they’re really trying to say: “I should really go up to them. Once they see how big of a fan I am, they’ll probably want to chill and get some beers later, right?”
Becky (3 hours ago): Ugh. Sometimes all people care about is this dumb movie shit. Why can’t SDCC just be about comics!?!?
What they’re really trying to say: I haven’t felt good about movies at Comic Con since they told me Fantastic Four was going to be awesome back in 2004.
Dan (7 hours ago): Emilia Clarke is sooooo hot in person.
What they’re really trying to say: “Soon, Emilia. You and I will be one. I will place your skin upon my skin and our souls will be joined in blood and fire. (Basically Emilia, I’m going to kidnap you and wear your skin as a suit.)”
Rachel (moments ago): Just met my favorite artist of all time!
What they’re really trying to say: “I just got Alex Ross to sign my boobs. It took him twenty-seven hours.”
RobotStarKiller (yesterday): Seeking human prey… seeking human prey… Objective: Find Conference Hall H. Find Conference Hall H.
What they’re really trying to say: “F*CK this costume is sweaty. I feel like I start a hydroponics factory in my crotch.”
Happy SDCC from CRAVE ONLINE!