
Time to watch the elections, get mad my guy lost, write a petition asking for my state to secede from the union, get other mad folks to sign it, watch as parody petitions overshadow the real ones, vow to move to Canada, don’t actually move to Canada and instead check out these links!
5 Best Deleted Petitions From The White House Website

Alright, how about we at least implement a national draft to see who gets to punch Grover Norquist in the dick?
Nation Horrified To Learn About War In Afghanistan While Reading Up On Petraeus Sex Scandal

http://www.theonion.com/articles/nation-horrified-to-learn-about-war-in-afghanistan,30367/?ref=auto
Oh yeah, that war we’re fighting. How’s that going?
Best Restaurant Review Ever?

I think it’s safe to say the reviewer totally loved Guy Fieri’s new restaurant. Here is Guy’s response.
The Hater’s Guide To The Williams-Sonoma Catalog

http://deadspin.com/5959212/the-haters-guide-to-the-williams+sonoma-catalog
To be fair, you can hold a lot more than twine in the Acorn Twine Holder, but then you’re violating the warranty agreement.
46 People With Unfortunate Names

http://www.buzzfeed.com/hyvesredactie/the-46-most-hilarious-names-ever-7j5s
This article was written by Ivanna Hump.
That’s all for this victorious edition of The Big List.
Geoffrey Golden is the Editor in Chief of The Devastator: The Quarterly Comedy Magazine For Humans!