Now that Adult Swim is airing the original web episodes of Rob Corddry’s web series Childrens Hospital, the new second season is on its way. Here’s a little bit of what you can expect to see from Rob Huebel, who spoke with the press on the set, the same hospital where Scrubs used to shoot.
Rob Huebel: Look, we have the same scar, for real.
Q: On our hands?
Rob Huebel: Is that a scar? Is that not a scar? That’s a scar. You tried to kill yourself. I tried to kill myself too. I didn’t try to kill myself.
Q: Is that the tragic history of every comedian?
Rob Huebel: I actually did this in a comedy show. I was on stage at Upright Citizens Brigade doing a show 10 years ago in New York. We used to do this fake wrestling show and one of the characters had an open can of tuna. It was a she, I was beating her up in this wrestling show and my hand just got sliced. It was live on stage and blood literally just went woosh. I can’t smell tuna. It was bad.
Q: Have you heard any response from Zach Braff since Childrens’ Hospital started?
Rob Huebel: No, does he want to fight us? Do you guys know?
Q: You had the line, “So it’s true Zach Braff has a really tiny penis.”
Rob Huebel: Did I say that? In the first season did I say that? I don’t remember saying that. I might’ve said that. No, I haven’t heard from him. I don’t know if he has my e-mail. We’ve put the word out on the street that we would like to fight all other hospital shows. If those actors are on a hospital show, you f*ckin’ bring it on.
Q: So Hugh Laurie is on your hit list?
Rob Huebel: Yeah, we’ll fight that guy. I’ll f*ckin’ fight that dude. We’ll fight all those people, like a gang fight, like an old timey gang fight.
Q: What about Clooney?
Rob Huebel: I don’t want to fight George Clooney. I don’t want to fight him.
Q: So only currently running medical dramas?
Rob Huebel: Or even old ones. St. Elsewhere.
Q: What’s going on in the love lives of the characters this year?
Rob Huebel: Lots. A lot of switching, swapping, a lot of tasting, sampling, teasing. Some fondling, some tickling, feather touching. Do you guys know what that is? It’s just very gentle. There is a lot of intermingling but it changes from episode to episode. There’s no through line I don’t think. It changes a lot though. People are really slutty, slutty doctors. We did an episode where it was the hottest day of the year and air conditioning breaks so everyone’s just sweating their balls off but it just makes everyone super horny. Everyone’s just glistening, like every shot is backlit. People just really want to do it. All this talk about sex makes me want to have sex.
Q: Is there any closure to your running joke about 9/11?
Rob Huebel: It’s too soon to ask that question. It’s too soon. Too soon. There’s no closure to that. I think that my character is very sad about 9/11 still but there’s no closure. There’s no closure to anything, or continuity. It’s exactly like real life where people die and then the next week they’re there again.
Q: Is there any explanation to how they’re back?
Rob Huebel: Sometimes, yeah, there is. There’s like a line, one line. Did you know that this whole show is set in Brazil? We’re also conveniently right next to [everything.] The building is right next to whatever we want it to be next to. In one episode we’re next to an amusement park called Ride World because little kids get hurt there all the time and it’s good for business. In another episode there’s a sci-fi convention going on at this convention center. Adam Scott’s character comes over, so we’re next to a lot of things that are very convenient.
Q: Have you seen the ghost or do you have a theory on what it really was?
Rob Huebel: It was a ghost. It was a ghost. I can tell you, he’s back peddling now. It was on the first floor. The hospital is haunted. It’s been documented. It’s haunted. The TV show Ghost Hunters should come here. Rob was leaving the hospital one night, all the lights were out, he was walking down the hallway. It was really dark and he got to the doorway and there’s a glass window pane. In the reflection, he saw something pass and he felt something pass right behind him, for real. He was freaked out. The next morning he was really freaked out and he was talking about it. Now, he’s trying to back pedal. Someone told him that it could’ve been a bird flying by outside. Number one, birds don’t fly at night because they can’t see where they’re going.
Q: Bats do.
Rob Huebel: There’s no such thing as bats. So it was definitely a ghost. Have we had any paranormal experiences? Actually, there’s a morgue right below us. I went down there to check it out and it’s a real scary place but there’s a box of wine down there. On the shelf for real there’s a box of wine. Then I looked and there was a Halloween streamer on the ceiling so some motherf*cker had a Halloween party down there. Someone rented it out for a Halloween party.
Q: You don’t think it was leftover from Scrubs?
Rob Huebel: No way. Ghosts rented it out for a Halloween party. I’m telling you.
Q: What’s the worst thing Scrubs has left over?
Rob Huebel: I think the beat off room. There’s a room called the beat off room where you go in there, there’s just tons of stuff. Hospitals in general are really dirty places. There’s so much disease here embedded in the walls and the tables. You guys probably all have chlamydia from coming in here. There’s chlamydia on these chairs I guarantee you.
Q: Do you have antibiotics?
Rob Huebel: No, we don’t even have like a nurse. The other day I swallowed gasoline. I swallowed gasoline the other day. We shot this scene where I’m getting beat up by this bully. He’s like a 10-year-old kid, he’s terrorizing me. He’s beating the shit out of me every day. So he beats me up in the parking lot and then there’s another flashback where he beats the shit out of me and then he has a gas tank and he pours gas over me. It’s just water but the gas tank definitely had gas in it. I was swallowing it and I was like ugh. The show’s very unsafe.
Q: What is your favorite medical jargon?
Rob Huebel: Rob says, “Hand me that scalpel.” That seems pretty real.