51 of the Funniest Tweets You Will Ever Read

Read, laugh and follow.

Rob Feeby Rob Fee

Did you know a recent survey revealed there are now more people on Twitter than in hell? Sometimes reading through Twitter can feel like you’ve entered the ninth circle as you encounter hashtag after hashtag and YOLO after Belieber. Fear not! We’ve scoured the Internet to find you 51 of the funniest tweets you will ever read.

funny tweets, funniest tweets, @ty_schutz, chivalry isn't dead you stupid bitch
funny tweets, funniest tweets, banana bread in your pocket or seagulls crotchfunny tweets, funniest tweets, airbud dog coach stupidfunny tweets, funniest tweets, @conortripler, smoking bongs turn head revealing police badge tattoofunny tweets, funniest tweets, @thepatrickwalsh, harrison ford putt puttfunny tweets, funniest tweets, @outerjohn, bored write tree blood on ping pong ballsfunny tweets, funniest tweets, @enidcoleslaw, awkward moment slow clap aunt diedfunny tweets, funniest tweets, @markleggett, write your name on your body every day person you hate permanent markerfunny tweets, funniest tweets, @brandamonium, hipster girl shaving side of her head brain surgeryfunny tweets, funniest tweets, calm down gas tank we're all empty inside, @sbellelaurenfunny tweets, funniest tweets, @rolldiggity, when pizza guy comes to the door answer it wearing the same uniform as him and insist he called mefunny tweets, funniest tweets, @spergers, dog you're quiet hulk hogan doll dog goes by in a red convertiblefunny tweets, funniest tweets, @nachosarah, if diamonds are a girl's best friend does that mean that my ex is going to sleep with them toofunny tweets, funniest tweets, @charstariane, sometimes I want to comment on a photo facebook but then I have to explain why i'm on photo album at 4amfunny tweets, funniest tweets, @inmynewskinfunny tweets, funniest tweets, @jessefederman, damn girl you lost war on hugsfunny tweets, funniest tweets, @ambertozer, crying would be more fun if tears cried wheeee as they streamed down your facefunny tweets, funniest tweets, @ladybirdj, if someone says they're only human give them a second look it sounds like something a robot would sayfunny tweets, funniest tweets, @jasonmustian, there's really no way to tell between a pile or laundry or a a dead jedifunny tweets, funniest tweets, @tracy_marq, '80s or AIDes party show up like Freddy Mercuryfunny tweets, funniest tweets, @peteec, 9/11 was the Wright Brothers faultfunny tweets, funniest tweets, @fart, jon hendren, craigslist ad for firewood ad for the woodsfunny tweets, funniest tweets, @boobsradley, Julieanne Smolinski, scare off a mountain lion say I love you mountain lion way too soonfunny tweets, funniest tweets, @greenishduck, crabs always look like they're walking out of an awkward situationfunny tweets, funniest tweets, @elibraden, lead actor from Precious has a twin sister who works at every Wendy'sfunny tweets, funniest tweets, @EireenDolan, rap math how many ounces of 40 do I need to pour out to mourn a dead homiefunny tweets, funniest tweets, @Ahm76, is that sex or is my neighbor watching a movie full of a long string of surprisesfunny tweets, funniest tweets, @sucittaM, if I go missing I want my photo on a 40 oz of beer so fun people will find mefunny tweets, funniest tweets, @TomHanksisHot, I had a vision of hell where none of the dogs would let me pet them and every level in Mario was a water level funny tweets, funniest tweets, @lazerdov, maybe poor people don't even like foodfunny tweets, funniest tweets, @mariecolette, I already know 2012 will be better than 2011 because Randy Macho Man Savage can't die twicefunny tweets, funniest tweets, @weismanjake, all vaginas are magicinas where'd the penis go lolfunny tweets, funniest tweets, mom discuss family matter urkel turned into Stefan found my weedfunny tweets, funniest tweets, first instinct leopard and deaf best band manager, @vladchocfunny tweets, funniest tweets, @Kendragarden, still haven't gotten over the fact that pluto and goofy are both dogs and that the babysitter showed me his penisfunny tweets, funniest tweets, Amelia Erfart, @Qu4rtKn33, I don't know if it's a ukelele or an ukelele so I stick with faggy baby guitarfunny tweets, funniest tweets, @Matt_Tice, why did Frogger die when he jumped in the waterfunny tweets, funniest tweets, @brettryland, how many ducks do I have to murder before this girl in the park notices mefunny tweets, funniest tweets, @theSofiya, hey winnie the pooh it's Tegro not Tigger make sure MLK died for somethingfunny tweets, funniest tweets, @KenJennings, heaven missing an angle because girl u acute, jokefunny tweets, funniest tweets, funny jokes, adopting hairless cat is like hiring a naked old man to walk around your apartment and never thank you for anythingfunny tweets, funniest tweets, funny jokes, in hell you have to find the scotch tape start over and overfunny tweets, funniest tweets, funny jokes, Guy Fieri looks like he's playing the sun in a school playfunny tweets, funniest tweets, funny jokes, @NickSchug, I hope toilet paper is the only thing named Scott that ever touches my buttholefunny tweets, funniest tweets, funny jokes, @eliyudin, of all the stone gargoyles freed from their curse to pursue acting Robert DeNiro is my favoritefunny tweets, funniest tweets, funny jokes, @chaseMit, scientists say men who drink beer daily reduce their risk of heart attack as for liver scientists say fuck livers and then high fivedfunny tweets, funniest tweets, funny jokes, @stevenamiri, I'm a little upset to find out that Joseph Kony and the Invisible Children weren't a progressive Indie Bandfunny tweets, funniest tweets, funny jokes, @thatRamosgirl, Antonio Banderas has had wet hair since 1996funny tweets, funniest tweets, funny jokes, this is probably going to sound really gay but the sunset is gorgeous right now and I love making out with dudesfunny tweets, funniest tweets, funny jokes, @JordyHamrick, I always lick my lips when I see a child looking at me on the highway because they nee to realize that there are bad people in this world

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