The 10 Grossest Sodas Ever Made

The only time you'd rather have a water.

K Thor Jensenby K Thor Jensen

It should be fairly simple to make a soda pop – fizzy water, a little bit of sugar and the flavoring of your choice. But people still manage to screw it up. In this feature, we’ll spotlight ten nauseating concoctions from all over the world that’ll make you want to put the cap back on the bottle.

Poutine Soda

The Jones Soda company is probably best-known for the quirky photographs that adorn their bottles, but they also like to experiment with some unusual flavors. One of the most bizarre was only available in California – poutine. The Quebecois delicacy consists of French fries topped with cheese curds and brown gravy, and it’s excellent for staving off a hangover. But distilled and put into a carbonated beverage, it’s a rancid, disgusting mess that will make you feel like vomiting from the moment you open the bottle. (Photo courtesy of: CTV News)

Surging Eel

Obviously Japan is going to take a spot or two on this list. That country has an amazing ability to create snack food that pushes the limits of taste. In 2008, Japan Tobacco Inc. released Unagi Nobori, which translates loosely as “Surging Eel.” And, yes, that is a literal title. The fizzy yellow beverage is made from eel extract, which Japanese people believe to be energizing and refreshing, and has a taste that is reminiscent of broiled eels. Sure, I like them on sushi, but not out of a bottle. (Photo courtesy of: The Dishh)

Bacon Soda

It’s time for the wacky ironic bacon trend to die. Sure, the crispy pork product is delicious (and deadly), but flavoring everything under the sun with it is too much of a good thing. Case in point: bacon soda, made by the brains at Lester’s Fixins. With a taste best compared to flat Pepsi and an overpowering aroma of salt, fat and smoke, it’s a challenge to even make it through a single bottle of this noxious drink. Samplers report that it tastes like nothing more than siphoning off a pan of wet bacon grease. (Photo courtesy of: Eden via Flickr CC)

Hubba Bubba

When you have a popular flavor, it’s only natural to try to merchandise it out. In the 1980s, Hubba Bubba gum was the chew of choice amongst the pre-teen set, so a soda company licensed the name to create a beverage version. They used snow cone flavoring to capture the insanely sweet appeal of the gum, but it caused cans to go flat almost immediately after opening, resulting in a vile pink syrup that was virtually undrinkable. Amazingly enough, some people actually want this to come back on the market. (Photo courtesy of: Blogspot)

Turkey & Gravy Soda

If we listed all the vile Jones Soda flavors we’d be here all day, but one stands head and shoulders above the rest. The Turkey & Gravy soda the company makes for Thanksgiving is a remarkable achievement, grossing out even the toughest stomachs. When you crack open the bottle, the aroma of fresh-cooked bird is pretty powerful. Drinkability, however, is pretty low. The soda tastes like an unholy mix of root beer and cooked turkey, with a Necco wafer aftertaste. (Photo courtesy of: Chris Pirillo via Flickr CC)

Pickle Fizz

Nobody has ever attempted to make Pickle Fizz in a bottle, thank God, but rural soda fountains around the country still have it on tap. The two ingredients for this demented beverage are dill pickle brine and carbonated water, mixed together in equal parts. No sweeteners, no added flavor – just pure vinegary pickle sensation. Patrons of the Skateland roller rink in Yakima, Washington swear by the concoction, but one sip will have most normal people puckering their mouths in disgust. (Photo courtesy of: John Riggs via Katsfm)

Pepsi White

You can’t mess with perfection, but that doesn’t stop the major sodamakers from trying. In an attempt to capture more of the Japanese beverage market, Pepsi introduced a variety of alternate flavors. Probably the most disturbing was Pepsi White, which took the sweetness and fizz that you grew up with and mixed it with the unmistakable flavor of… yogurt. The final result is soapy and sort of medicinal, which certainly isn’t going to set the shelves on fire. (Photo courtesy of: Michael John Grist)

Teriyaki Beef Jerky Soda

You may be noticing a theme in this list, and that’s meat. Our relentless desire to cram dead animals into every food product is going to be the death of us, quite literally in this case. Made by the tiny Beefdrinker company, Teriyaki Beef Jerky Soda is a nightmare in a bottle. When you pop the cap (it’s not a screw-off), you’ll notice little chunks floating in the liquid and the overwhelming smell of a cheap Japanese restaurant. Drinking it is even worse, with an overwhelming soy sauce saltiness dominating. (Photo courtesy of: Candy Carroliton)

Ranch Dressing Soda

Here’s another one from Lester’s Fixins, who I can only assume are aliens from the blackest void of space sent to eradicate humanity with disgusting beverages. Not satisfied with their bacon and buffalo chicken flavors, in 2013 they released a limited edition soda flavored with ranch dressing. Ranch, which was invented in the 1950s, is made from buttermilk, chives and onions – not typical soda flavors. The resulting beverage is repulsive, smelling like rotten cheese and athlete’s foot, and the taste isn’t much better. (Photo courtesy of: Opposing views)

Mountain Dew Dewritos

If you cut open a gamer’s belly, chances are you’d find a fair amount of Doritos and Dew inside. So it’s not surprising that Pepsi would want to capture lightning in a bottle and create a soft drink that combined the two. In November of 2014, the beverage giant took a tour of college campuses providing samples of the fizzy orange cheese-flavored drink. People who sampled it said it tasted like orange soda with a distinctive – and hard to get rid of – Dorito aftertaste. Whether they’ll make it commercially available is anybody’s guess. (Photo courtesy of: Viralspell)