20 Fun and Fascinating Facts About Male Genitalia

Some random junk about your junk.

Matt Branhamby Matt Branham

If you enjoyed our Size Matters Map, you’ll be overly enthused to learn some additional fun facts about the entire man region that goes with it. No matter what you refer to it as–and please keep your pet names to yourself–there is plenty to know about the male erogenous zone, in all its dangling and weird-shaped glory.

1. The smallest recorded penis is 5/8 of an inch. The largest is 13.5 inches.

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The man behind the large hog is Jonah Falcon. He’s from New York and is probably taking appointments.

2. An estimated one in 400 men can pleasure himself orally due to his size and flexibility.

3. On average, a man will have 11 erections during the day and nine while he sleeps.

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4. Humans are the only primates without bones in their boners.

Talk about irony.

5. Smoking shrivels your penis.

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Smoking calcifies blood vessels, restricting blood flow in the body, and you need that blood flow to make your dick grow.

6. Lack of use also makes your penis smaller.

According to scientists, not getting it up decreases the elasticity in your tissue, reducing its size by up to two centimeters. That’s nearly an inch.

7. Good looking men are likely to have the strongest swimmers.

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In a 2003 research experiment in which women were asked to pick the best looking guy from a group of photographs (the men ranging from lousy to strong sperm specimens), they chose the best sperm producers most often. A more recent study tried to claim the opposite, but was reportedly misleading.

8. King Fatefehi of Tonga reportedly deflowered nearly 40 thousand girls over a 14-year period.

That means from 1770 until 1784, he was having sex with virgins at an average of seven per day. Wilt Chamberlain’s got nothing on this guy.

9. The average male orgasm lasts 6 seconds. For women, it’s up to 23 seconds.

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Where’s all the outrage over gender equality here?!

10. Penises are classified into two categories: growers and show-ers.

The term “grower” (79 percent of men) refers to men who are very small when flaccid but expand to much greater sizes. A “show-er” (21 percent of men) is about as large flaccid as he is erect.

11. Only six percent of men actually need extra large condoms.

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Furthermore, only three percent of men in the world are bigger than 8 inches. That’s the approximate size for a man to fit rightly into extra large condoms, although many men claim normal condoms restrict blood flow. We are the 97 percent!

12. Gay men typically have slightly larger penises than straight men.

13. Diphallia is the medical term for having two functioning penises.

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There was recently a fascinating story about a man with this condition, known as DoubleDickDude.

14. The oldest known species with a penis is the Colymbosathon ecplecticos.

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It’s a hard-shelled sea creature whose name is Greek for “amazing swimmer with large penis.” It dates back more than 425 million years.

15. Any man desiring to make his schlong look bigger will have the best luck by simply losing body fat.

16. Once again, a flaccid penis is not a good indicator to how much potential it truly has.

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The Kinsey Institute reports that a small flaccid penis grows by a greater percentage than a large flaccid penis. There is no real way to predict a man’s penis size so who’s to say what the little guy can do when he’s taking a break?

17. Studies have shown that contrary to popular belief, foot size is not a true indicator of penis size either.

18. Circumcision became popular in the 1800s, partly to prevent men from masturbating.

19. You most likely had an erection before you were born.

That is to say, you had a boner while you were living inside your mother. Gross.

20. On average, 85 percent of men can complete the sexual task of ejaculation in under three minutes.

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Done!