You have a ton of crap in your kitchen and your cupboards, but nothing of any substance after a long night of bottle tipping. Why not combine a bunch of snacks into some of the most easy and innovative drunk recipes for your hungry, impaired eyes and empty tummy? We’ve got a number of simple recipes any drunk can concoct with common household ingredients. All it takes is a little imagination and a bit of mashing up. If nothing else, it’ll soften the blow that the following morning has in store for you. Just don’t burn down the kitchen. In fact, if you’re that drunk, just lie down and order a pizza.
Upside Down Grilled Cheese
Why have a regular grilled cheese when you can have an upside down one? You’ll need:
- 2 slices of bread
- 2 slices (sharp cheddar) cheese
- 1/4 cup shredded cheese
Melt a 1/2 tablespoon of butter in a pan and place two pieces of bread down to soak up the butter. Once those sides are lightly brown, add cheese slices to one piece and put the other slice of bread on top (like a normal grilled cheese). Sprinkle shredded cheese on top of the sandwich and let it melt a little, then carefully flip and do the same to the other side. Essentially it’s a twice baked grilled cheese with melted cheese inside and crispy cheese on the outside. For added scrumptiousness, dip in a hot bowl of tomato soup, just like your mother taught you (before you started drinking alone in your underpants).
What could be better than mixing a little Mexican with pizza, especially if tortilla shells, sauce and cheese are all you have in the fridge? Here’s what you’ll need:
- 2 flour tortillas
- 5 tbsp tomato or marinara sauce
- 1/2 cup mozzarella cheese
Warm your skillet with a touch of olive oil and add one tortilla. Cover the top with half the pizza sauce, then add half of your cheese before placing the second tortilla on top. Let it cook on medium for a minute, then add the other half of sauce on top. If you have pepperoni, you can add that on top now before adding the rest of the cheese. Melt the cheese on top either in the broiler, in the microwave or on a Pizzazz. If you don’t know what a Pizzazz is, your life will never be complete.
Doritos Crunchy Chicken Tenders
If you’ve never checked out Cheffy on “Food Mash-Ups,” you’re missing out on the drunk food cooking host of a lifetime. The Doritos Chicken Tenders is a lot like breaded chicken tenders, only a million times more addictive. We’ll give you the ingredients, then hand you over to Cheffy himself.
- 5 chicken tenders
- 1 egg
- Salt, pepper
Chicken & Waffle Bites
Frozen snacks made quickly right here, because nobody is stupid enough to make waffles from scratch. All you need:
- 2 chicken strips
- 2 waffles (4 if they’re Eggo size)
- Syrup (as much as it takes!)
Defrost chicken and begin to cook in a pan while you either make waffle batter from the box and cook up a waffle or toast up a few Eggo waffles (we’re guessing the latter, you lazy drunk). Slice up the chicken and place on top of the cooked waffles, then add syrup until you feel yourself drowning in its maple goodness. Simple.
Microwavable Rice Krispies Treats
Here’s a simple sweet treat for your late night sweet tooth.
- 4 marshmallows
- 1 tsp butter
- 1/2 cup cereal
Melt the marshmallows and butter together in the microwave in a bowl or mug until butter is melted (about 30 seconds). Stir together, then add in your cereal and mix until the marshmallow and butter is evenly distributed. Now you have a delicious mess.
Leftover Pizza Omelette
If you don’t like cold or old pizza, we’ve got something that’ll blow your nuts into your butt. All you need is:
- 1 slice leftover pizza
- 2 eggs
Scrape (and scramble) the toppings off the old pizza slice. Scramble two eggs in a skillet, then add the scrambled pizza topping in with the eggs. Stir together until it’s all hot, then add eggs and toppings back onto pizza crust. Voila!
If there’s a lady involved and you’re struggling to seal the deal after a night of drinks, Nutella is your best ally. It’s a little extra work, but if you can enlist her help and get it done, you’ll be pure boyfriend material (unless that’s a bad thing, then don’t make it) To make Nutella cereal, you’ll need:
- 1/3 cup Nutella
- 1-1/4 cup flour
- 1 teaspoon vanilla
- 1/2 teaspoon salt
- 1/4 cup honey
- 1 egg
- 4 tbsp milk
- 1/4 cup cocoa powder (if you can)
Mix all the ingredients in a large bowl until it has the consistency of cookie batter. Add milk if it’s too thick. Roll tight little, cereal size balls and place on a cookie sheet (lightly coated with cooking spray). Cook for 10 minutes at 350 degrees, then roll them over for another 10 minutes. Let cool, then add to a bowl with milk and become the greatest man (or woman) alive.
Peanut Butter & Chocolate Popcorn
Popcorn on its own makes for a good drunk snack, but if you want to take it up a notch (and you should), your popcorn could use a little chocolate and peanut butter (the best combination of two things possible in this world). Aside from popcorn (buttered, if you can), all you need is:
- ½ cup semi-sweet chocolate
- 1-1/2 tablespoons creamy peanut butter
- ½ cup white chocolate
After popping your corn, spread it out flat on a cookie sheet. Melt the chocolate and peanut butter carefully in the microwave for a minute or minute and a half. Stir the mixture and drizzle over the popcorn. Then, carefully melt the white chocolate and do the same. Let the chocolate and peanut butter dry, then break it up and chow down.
*Alternatively, you can melt and add a Butterfinger bar to buttered popcorn for similar results.
Homemade Pepperoni Pizza Rolls
Anyone can fire up a bag of pizza rolls, but it takes a real talent to make a homemade pizza roll drunk snack. What you’ll need:
- Uncooked crescent roll dough strips
- Thinly sliced pepperoni
- Mozzarella cheese (string or shredded)
- 2 tbsp butter
- 1/2 tsp onion powder
- 1 garlic clove
- Marinara sauce
Lay out crescent roll strips, then place two to four slices of pepperoni and cheese on top. Roll them into neat and tight (not too tight) rolls, kind of like you would pigs in a blanket. Then top with garlic butter. You can make the butter by mixing together two tablespoons of butter with 1/2 teaspoon of onion powder and one finely chopped garlic clove. Once you spread the butter on the rolls, oven bake for 8-10 minutes at 375 degrees. Let cool a minute then dip in marinara for heavenly bliss.
Beer Bacon Mac ‘n Cheese Pie
When it comes to mushing up things into masterpieces, Cheffy’s “Food Mashups” knows best, especially if there’s beer, bacon and cheese involved. Check out this awesome video for all you need, start to finish. It’s a bit of work, but if you have some time, some help and you’re good in the kitchen (and aren’t too drunk), it’s well worth it.