20 Things You Really Don’t Want To Know

You're gonna read this, but you'll wish you hadn't.

Noah Henryby Noah Henry
All photos via Getty/Reddit.

There are some things out there that are better left unknown. If you needed another reason to never leave your house, consider this article your alibi. From facts about feces to unsettling knowledge about history, we present some of the most disturbing facts ever.

20 Things You Really Don’t Want To Know

1. Ninety percent of paper money in the US contains traces of cocaine.

things you dont want to know

Don’t get excited. The 2009 report indicated that most dollars contained only .006 micrograms of cocaine, which is thousands of times smaller than a single grain of sand. Apparently the coke “binds to the green eye in money.” Canada came in second place with 85 percent of paper money containing cocaine, and China and Japan came in last with 20 and 12 percent respectively.

2. Baby foreskins are sometimes used as replacement skin for burn victims.

This means, quite literally, one can be a true dickface. Soldiers as well benefit from the use of foreskins to repair wounds. More accurately, foreskins help accelerate the growth of new skin. I’ll keep my horrific burns, thanks.

3. There are porn stars who were born in 1997.

Just as a comparison, “Titanic” came out in 1997.

4. Koalas eat their mother’s poop.

It’s no secret that coprophagia, the love of eating poo, exists in the animal kingdom. Watch your dog for a day. But koalas do it for another purpose: They can’t digest eucalyptus when they are born so they consume bacteria in Mom’s poop to develop the ability to. It’s like breast milk, except from the butt.

5. And mother cats eat their newborns’ poop.

The Internet is rife with concerned cat owners wondering why their cats eat their kitten’s poop. They do it for cleanliness and to keep the smell factor at a minimum. Also to keep predators at bay.

6. Red eyes at the pool are caused by urine, not chlorine.

On June 24, the Internet erupted when the CDC said that chlorine doesn’t cause your eyes to turn red. Pee does. They said nitrogen in the urine combines with chlorine to create something called chloramine. Chloramine makes your eyes red. And its No. 1 ingredient is urine.

7. When you smell something, it means the molecules from that smell land in your nostrils.

Yes, including farts.

Molecules evaporate from everything. Onions, perfume, bread. This means when you enter a smelly bathroom, the molecules from strangers’ poop are landing inside your nose.

8. Male fetuses get erections in the womb.

Many times a boner is visible from the ultrasound. Scientists don’t know why, but I’m guessing it has something to do with being mere inches away from a vagina. Indeed erections continue to happen after birth and well into one’s adulthood, ending at 60 until Viagra is needed to keep that flagpole upright.

9. A man’s penis and testicles were once removed during surgery by accident.

In 1999, 67-year-old Hurshell Ralls went into surgery for bladder cancer. When he awoke after the operation, the cancer was gone, and so was his penis.

Hurshell told Good Morning America that his wife gave him the bad news: “‘Honey, it’s over. They got all the cancer. But they had to remove your penis.’ I was one mad dude, you know.”

In 2001, it was reported that 95 percent of doctors have witnessed major surgical mistakes.

10. 1 out of 50 women have a third nipple.

And 1 out of every 100 men do. Mark Wahlberg and Harry Styles are two celebrities with multiple nipples. It’s called a supernumerary nipple and it happens in all mammals.

11. Every molecule of water you drink has been pissed out by a dinosaur.

Dinosaurs roamed the Earth for 186 million years, so this makes sense. Humans have only been around for 400,000 years.

According to UK’s Metro, “Frankly, you might as well be drinking it straight out of their scaly penises.”

12. Ducks are the most prolific rapists in the animal kingdom.

It’s hard to believe such lovable, waddling creatures are brutal rapists. But it’s true. A third of all duck intercourse is forced.

It’s been observed by the scientific community that male duck genitals are actually evolving to become more successful at raping; and female duck genitals are evolving to avoid getting pregnant. It has been dubbed a “sexual arms race.”

13. You are always within 6 feet of a spider at any given moment.

According to this Wired article, They’re everywhere.

14. Forty-eight percent of sodas at fast food joints contain bacteria from fecal matter.

And more than 11 percent of beverages contain E. Coli.

15. 300,000,000 cells in the body die every minute.

From the book The Truth Please!: “”In less than twelve hours, the body has replaced as many as or more cells than there are stars in our galaxy.”

16. Crucifixion is the official death penalty in Sudan.

Per Article 168 of the Sudanese Penal Code. Even more startling is that Sudan applies the death penalty more than any other African nation. Even those guilty of sodomy, weapon possession, and prostitution receive capital punishment.

17. Hitler and Joseph Stalin were both nominated for the Nobel Peace Prize.

Hitler’s nomination was only a joke, however, pulled by a member of the Swedish parliament in 1939. Stalin’s nominations came in 1945 and 1948. In related news, Gandhi never won a Nobel Peace Prize.

18. Scientists say by 2020 chocolate will begin to disappear from the earth.

Hershey recently increased the price of chocolate bars to lower the demand and combat this eerie fact. Yes, there is a discrepancy between the amount of chocolate made and how much is eaten. The deficit will increase by one million metric tons of chocolate by 2020, and increase from there.

19. There are more than 100 billion dead people buried beneath you.

The Population Reference Bureau said that around 106 billion people have lived on Earth. Nearly 7 percent of all people ever born are alive today.

20. There are millions of kids playing Xbox and having sex with your mother as you read these words.

I mean, at least that’s what they’re always saying to me. Must be an epidemic.

At least these won’t gross you out: Crazy Facts About Your Favorite Classic Movies