These Hottest Hot Sauces Will Burn Your Life Down

Burn, baby, burn.

Matt Branhamby Matt Branham
There’s hot sauce, and then there’s hot sauce. These are the latter, the kind of anti-condiment hot sauce that will burn your life down, starting with your mouth. You thought you needed foods that make you poop to make things happen. Just try these hottest hot sauces alive, measured in Scoville units and number of fatalities. Sauces like Satan’s Rage and Pure Death make you wonder why you’d ever put these hot sauces in your delicate body.

Blair’s 16 Million Reserve (16 million Scoville units)
These Hottest Hot Sauces Will Burn Your Life Down
Along with Blair’s 6 A.M. and their 2009 Halloween Reserve, this not-so-tasty treat clocks in at 16 million Scoville. That’s 3,200 times hotter than your average jalapeño. Blair’s has an additional seven or more hot sauces running between 13 and 14.5 million Scoville.

Texas Creek Pure Evil (9.6 million Scoville units)
These Hottest Hot Sauces Will Burn Your Life Down
With no flavor and just pure heat, this 9.6 million Scoville sauce is a continuation of the madness that is adding flavorless hot sauce to food that probably could kill most small animals.

Mad Dog 357 Plutonium (9 million Scoville)
These Hottest Hot Sauces Will Burn Your Life Down
Just as it only takes a small amount of plutonium to make a lot of damage, such is the case with Mad Dog’s 357 Plutonium. With one of the purest, hottest pepper extracts, this hottest hot sauce is a heat check that will test your limits.

The Source (7.1 million Scoville)
These Hottest Hot Sauces Will Burn Your Life Down
Once a legend and now a lethal weapon, The Source is a renowned hot sauce, a direct connection between you and the bowels of hell. For heaven’s sake, don’t let anyone dare you to chug it.

Crazy Uncle Jester’s The Jester (6 million Scoville)

A limited-edition extract started up in 2010, The Jester is the hard-hitting hot sauce that will give you that scary, creeping feeling most crazy uncles give you. Our highest grade for its appropriate nomenclature.

Bumblefoot’s Bumblefucked (6 million Scoville)
These Hottest Hot Sauces Will Burn Your Life Down
Originally made for the Guns N’ Roses guitarist, one of the all-time best bands in America, and 1200 times the hotness of a jalapeño, Bumblefucked is a stinger of a sauce with bits of ginger, caffeine and ginseng. What a weird combination!

Cajohns Get Bitten Black Mamba 6 (6 million Scoville)
These Hottest Hot Sauces Will Burn Your Life Down
Hotter than Kobe’s jump shot, Black Mamba is a tongue-tied twister of chocolate habanero, vinegar and 6-million extract. Again, a weird trio of ingredients. This and Cajohns Bumblefucked are their two hottest sauces, both ranking in at 6 million Scoville.

Pepper Palace The Hottest Sauce in the Universe (3.5 Scoville)
These Hottest Hot Sauces Will Burn Your Life Down
Well, as you can see, it’s not the hottest hot sauce in the universe, but it’s damn close. At 3.5 million Scoville, it’s still got the hotness of 700 jalapeños, if that gives you any idea (or nightmare).

Smokin’ Ed’s Carolina Reaper Pepper (2.2 million Scoville)
These Hottest Hot Sauces Will Burn Your Life Down
Listed in 2014’s Guinness Book as the World’s Hottest Chile, cultivated by Ed Currie of South Carolina, Ed’s smokin’ hot sauce is now in the ranks of the great gastrointestinal murderers.

Spontaneous Combustion (Scoville Units Unknown)
These Hottest Hot Sauces Will Burn Your Life Down
With pure capsicum extract heat and habanero flavor, this one deserves recognition for both its name and ability to ruin all that you hold dear. Try it out in public with the one you love? We think not, young pyromaniac.