The Playboy Mansion is considered, by many, to be Heaven on Earth, a magical place where fleshy dreams come true daily. With all the history in those walls, we’re taking you through some of the wildest and lesser-known secrets to California’s own little Garden of Eve, where nothing is real, especially the painted-on boobies.
If you’re going to the Playboy mansion, remember one very simple thing: “If you don’t swing, don’t ring.” There’s actually a sign there that says that.
1. There’s a freakishly childlike curfew.
When you live under Hugh’s roof, you have to be in at a certain time each night. Grown women getting home at a safe hour makes sense, right? Maybe midnight? No, that curfew is 9 p.m. That’s early for a prepubescent in middle school, let alone for the wild and sexiest of places. Carla Howe claims you couldn’t invite friends over, and Holly Madison says it’s a bit like prison, keeping the bunnies in as much as keeping other people out.
2. There is an off-limits Elvis screw room.
If Elvis gets naked and has his way with numerous women (perhaps eight) in your house, it’s off limits from there on out. Such is the case with the Playboy Mansion, which has a room closed off to preserve and eternalize the sexy times of the King himself, dating back to the ’70s.
3. They have some unique permits.
The mansion is no stranger to strange pets. They have permits for exotic pets like peacocks, toucans and flamingos, and many boobless bunnies, not to mention about a hundred squirrel monkeys. I think they mean sugar gliders. The mansion is also the only private home in Los Angeles with both regular fireworks and a pyrotechnic license.
4. The girls living there are given an allowance each week.
Hugh’s girls claim they can’t pick up extra work besides appearance fees, but they do line up each week for a cash handout in hundred dollar bills totaling a thousand bucks each every week. It sounds as humiliating a situation as it does a daddy issue on the horizon.
5. It smells a bit like an old-folks home.
You’d think the mansion would smell of rich oak, invigorating fragrances given its occupants and possibly a bit like a stay at the Four Seasons, but according to many guests, it smells more like old man and musk, and not the good kind. Don’t forget all the dog shit scattered about the white bedroom carpet.
6. And “The Grotto” is disgusting.
Despite the idea of the grotto being very illustrious, it’s a bit of facade with the fake rocks and swirling whirlpool of DNA. In 2011, there were allegedly more than a hundred cases of illness reported. You mean the venereal waters of the Playboy Mansion are haunted with infection? Get. Out! Aside from the unholy amount of nudity and likely sexual companionship of those waters, it’s also host to many a sexy party, so this comes as a surprise only in that we expected more sickness.
7. John Lennon trashed the place once.
During a rowdy bout with his lady, Yoko, John Lennon is said to have crashed at the mansion and may have thrown a little drunken love tantrum in the halls of Hefner. Rumor has it Lennon put out a cigarette on a Matisse painting, which still hangs there today. In addition to Lennon, many a celebrity has come and gone and not been welcomed back, including Reggie Bush and Luke Wilson.
8. More than 70 people work there, not including the girls.
The mansion houses about a dozen full-time chefs working around the clock, a couple dozen girlfriends, not including the ridiculous number of girls just hanging out waiting for sexy time. God knows how many dogs are there!
9. Sunday night is Movie Night.
We’d guess tasteful porn initially, but apparently, Hugh is a real family man with his girls. And there’s a vintage arcade room so the fun never ends. Unfortunately, the arcade was included with the sale of the house.
10. Hugh Hefner is a renter.
Playboy acquired the house for just over $1 million in 1971 from a chess player who designed spaceships. After they moved headquarters to L.A. from Chicago, Hugh would live there for 45 years before the house was sold. It recently passed through escrow for about $100 million to the rich boy next door. Hefner has actually been paying rent plus extra running fees for parties but will continue to live in the house despite the transfer of ownership. After the 90-year-old kicks it, there’s no telling what’s next for Playboy.