Text Emojis You Have Grossly Misused in Your Phone Messages

Time to start using them correctly.

Matt Branhamby Matt Branham

It’s hard enough interpreting text messages, let alone emoji conversations. Thank goodness we’ve provided you with this handy guide of common emoji misinterpretations, the grossly misused emoji dictionary for all your text-ridden woes. We’ll be honest: Most of them are overtly sexual.

Text Emojis You Have Grossly Misused in Your Phone Messages

Money Mouth

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Indicates feeling wealthy or a love of money.
Mistaken interpretation: I accidentally swallowed a dollar bill (again). Also, it tasted like it’s been used for drugs, and I can not stop smiling.

Smiling Sunglasses (AKA Cool Emoji)

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Denotes a sense of cool.
Mistaken interpretation: I’m so high I have to wear glasses at night so people don’t know just how high. Here’a hint: I thought my sneakers were baby dragons eating my feet.

Kitty Heart Eyes

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Cat variant of love eyes smiley face.
Mistaken interpretation: My p____ loves you. (It doesn’t love you. It’ll scratch your eyes out like any other asshole cat).

Sad Face

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Indicates hurt or upset but not crying hysterically.
Mistaken interpretation: Trump supporter circa 2017 (misinterpretation pending).

Smirking Face

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Sly face, often sexual or smug.
Mistaken interpretation: I farted, but everyone blames you.

Winking Face

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Classic wink emoji, often smiling.
Mistaken interpretation: “I wasn’t winking, you idiot! That was grapefruit!”

Zipper Mouth (Lips Are Sealed)

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Conveys a secret.
Mistaken interpretation: BDSM Smiley. Safety word: “Bosco!” (That’s back-to-back “Seinfeld” quotes).

Flushed Face

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Blushing due to mistake or embarrassment.
Mistaken interpretation: Yes, your penis is huge (It’s not huge).

Hugging Face

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Smiley face with hands beneath, symbolizing an offered hug.
Mistaken interpretation: Jazz hands.

Roller Coaster

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Red rollercoaster with rows of people connected.
Mistaken interpretation: “Human Centipede.”

Skier

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Person skiing on snowy slope.
Mistaken interpretation: Cocaine party.

Women With Bunny Ears

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Female dancers, friends or partiers.
Mistaken interpretation: Threesome of tasty treats with HPV.

Fist Hand Sign

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Fist pump.
Mistaken interpretation: Fist me.