This Week’s 20 Funniest Tweets 10-7-16

Another week, another batch of the funniest tweets compiled for your viewing pleasure. Be sure to follow these guys and gals, and check back here every week for more jokes you can tell your friends and pretend you came up with yourself. They’ll think you’re hilarious, but inside you’ll be cold and dead.

Follow @robfee on Twitter.

Funny Tweets 10-7-16


— Jay Dior (@JayKenMinaj) September 23, 2016

if you can’t handle me at my worst, I really commend and respect you for setting healthy boundaries for yourself!

— steph stone (@stephsstone) October 1, 2016

*18 red flags*
sure why not

— Her Tall Boots (@fuzzlime) September 24, 2016

When you post a selfie but no one favs it

— ben™ (but spooky) (@benicus_rex) February 26, 2016

— Goth Ms. Frizzle (@spookperson) October 1, 2016

juice demon

— yung spleen (@softhills) October 2, 2016

Hey kids, wanna eat Olaf’s sweetened innards, like the disgusting little monsters you are?

— Living Marble (@living_marble) September 14, 2016

I’ve carried chalk in my car for 10 months JUST so i could do this once. Yesterday was the day

— Dunks (@adunkel2016) September 29, 2016

Me: kentuckys new logo looks like two birds banging

911: sir this line is for emergen- wait what

Me: yah turn it sideways

911:…holy shit

— rudy mustang (@roostermustache) October 1, 2016

When autocorrect changes “omw” to “On my way!”

— Lets Be Real (@iadorewomen_) September 21, 2016


GF: I guess this is goodbye

ME: I told you, I’m not very good at goodbyes

GF: [crying] Goodbye

ME: [trying real hard] Geebumf

— Mat (@MatCro) August 8, 2016

My new hobby: finding incomprehensible diagrams on office whiteboards and adding alarming conclusions to them

— /dæn•’slɪ.mən/ (@danslimmon) September 30, 2016

Ok but why do I look like the fucking ride

— Christine Sydelko (@csydelko) October 3, 2016

So you just bouta sit there and pull out your phone and make a while your grandad is dying..

— JAY VERSACE (@tharealversace) September 23, 2016

good morning

— darcie (@333333333433333) September 22, 2016

Halloween will be about fucking when your older
(kid nervously takes candy)

— 69 IQ Lifecoach (@pr0spector88) October 14, 2014

Thought this nigga died.

— :bka.Jai:bka_jai (@bka_jai) September 23, 2016

— Jonathan M. Katz (@KatzOnEarth) October 2, 2016

ME: *slams buzzer* MUFFIN FUCKER?
PAT: 1) we don’t have buzzers 2) that doesn’t even fit 3) I’ll give you $20 to leave now
ME: no deal Howie

— Bucky Isotope (@BuckyIsotope) September 22, 2016

this is the best screensaver cos whenever i get a notification, Kanye holds it up for me

— mb (@michaellbutlerr) September 29, 2016

Want more? Check out last week’s funniest tweets.