Drunk Chinese Man Needs Surgery After Jamming 8-Inch USB Cable Up His Peehole For Sexual Pleasure

Holy hell, you're going to feel this one.

Tommy Gimlerby Tommy Gimler
Photo: Denkou Images (Getty)

Not even David Blaine could pull that off without fucking himself up, bro.

What is happening with dude’s and injury to their penises these days? Hell, we just got done talking about a South African man who had to get his penis punctured in order to remove his wedding ring that he for some reason had slipped on there. And now, this painful story.

According to Mirror, female human beings are no longer doing it for some fellas in China, like this one guy, for example, who recently jammed an eight-inch USB cable up his dickhole for what authorities called “sexual pleasure.”

Drunk Chinese Man Needs Surgery After Jamming 8-Inch USB Cable Up His Peehole For Sexual Pleasure

Photo: AsiaWire

Photo: AsiaWire

The unnamed pervert told doctors he was drunk when he began “pleasuring himself,” and after researching different ways of how to do so, he decided to cram the USB cord for his cellphone inside his pork sword. Well, wouldn’t you know it, the damn thing became lodged inside, forcing the Shaanxi Province man to sober up rather quickly and rush himself to the hospital.

Doctors needed more than an hour to cut the cable into three pieces and pull each section out of his “damaged urethra” and are unsure if the kinky fucker will suffer any long-term side effects as a result of his stupidity. They also said the dude admitted to being “embarrassed and regretful” after jamming the cord up his manhood, which is a good start to getting back inside humanity’s circle of trust.

I’ll also pass on the “try to fit your dick through a wedding ring” craze: South African Man Gets Penis Stuck In Wedding Ring, Doctors ‘Puncture’ His Manhood To Get It Off