7-Year-Old Girl Opens Nintendo Wii Game ‘Splatoon’ On Christmas But Finds Porn DVD Inside Instead

Yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Claus and he's a pervert.

Tommy Gimlerby Tommy Gimler
Photo: B2M Productions (Getty)

Well to be fair, there are plenty of “splatoon” scenes in the movie.

According to the New York Daily News, a seven-year-old Ohio girl named Mackenzie Blankenship who opened a Nintendo Wii game she got from Santa Claus for Christmas received the shock of a lifetime when a skin flick titled Sensual Seductions 2 was waiting inside the case instead of the video game.

“I looked over her shoulder and I grabbed it,” Mackenzie’s mother Krista Greider said. “[I] saw the picture on it and she was just ‘Why? What is that? Why are they naked?'”

Photo: WLWT5

Photo: WLWT5

Mackenzie wasn’t too thrilled about the situation and spent a portion of her day wondering why Santa would pull such a dick move on a seven-year-old kid.

“I was really upset,” Mackenzie said. “I said, ‘Why did Santa get me this?’ [MY MOM] had to tell me it wasn’t him.”

Well if it wasn’t Santa, then just who was responsible for the sequel to Sensual Seductions finding its way into a video game that’s rated “E” for everyone? Yup, you guessed it: Target. Greider said the store sent her an apology and a gift card after she hit them up on social media, but she’s hoping that this goes all the way up the “flagpole” and reaches the big boys and girls at Nintendo.

Photo: Nintendo/Amazon

Photo: Nintendo/Amazon

In the meantime, we’ll assume that there is a 42-year-old man living in his mom’s basement or a trucker parked along the interstate somewhere in Ohio who’s almost just as pissed as Greider that instead of finding Sensual Seductions 2 inside his recent purchase, he found Splatoon, which turned out to be a child’s video game instead of some kind of bukkake movie.

If you want porn in China, just take a peek at the roadside advertisements: Billboard In China Shows Porn For All Its Residents To Enjoy