Photo: AK2 (Getty)
“Is that a pot in the back of your pants?”
No, ma’am. That’s a frying pan, and I’ll take a stab in the dark that she didn’t pay for it.
That’s right, kids. According to the Riverfront Times, a 28-year-old St. Louis woman wearing a shirt about three sizes too small and beyond skintight leggings tried to steal a frying pan from an IKEA store by jamming it down her backside last Friday night.
Yeah, that didn’t fool anybody.
Sierra Coleman was nabbed in the parking lot by two IKEA loss prevention officers after thinking that nobody would notice that she had an ass shaped like a frying pan. Her theft attempt was somehow foiled, and thankfully for millions of people who don’t feel like working today, the scene that unfolded in the parking lot was recorded and uploaded to Facebook for everyone’s enjoyment.
Oh, and it looks like she’s going to be a mother. That’s just terrific.
Shoutout to Coleman for knowing that it would only be a misdemeanor because the pan was 30 bucks, which leads us to believe that this isn’t her first rodeo in the theft game. What she probably didn’t bank on, though, was that biting the male loss prevention officer on her way out of the store is assault, which is also “just” a misdemeanor.
But throw those on top of the “three outstanding warrants stemming from 2008,” which are for “three felony charges — two for forgery, one for passing a bad check” – and it’s safe to say Coleman won’t be running for president in 2020. And neither will this obvious thief.