It’s a fine line between 29 and 30, but it’s also like a canyon of lost dreams. It changes in a snap, but once you switch over to the dark side, you quickly learn the things you used to love to do in your 20s you wouldn’t dare try in your 30s (i.e. running in public). When you’re in your 20s, the world is yours for the taking, and there’s nothing you can’t accomplish. But the moment your clock turns 30, it’s over. And that includes karaoke.
You think we’re exaggerating? Tell that to my lower back, which I threw out, along with my shin splints when I tried to run, my chiropractor who thinks I should just end it now before it gets any worse, my eyes that burn by 5 p.m. from texting too much, my arthritis, my carpel tunnel, the knots in my neck and my ex-girlfriend who swears “it happens to the best of them.” You know, there’s a lot of years left to go, but we’re thinking our 30s is a steep decline so that the rest of life can be relaxing knowing we’re never going to run like Tom Cruise again.
Obviously, we’re being a little bombastic here (or are we?), but your 30s can definite whoop your butt if you’re not on top of it. Now read about the things you loved to do in your 20s you wouldn’t dare try in your 30s, then watch the tears stream down your cheeks with the speed of future burning urinations.