Photo: Jamie Grill (Getty)
Breaking up is never easy, no matter what the exact circumstances are or who is the one pulling the trigger. It usually sets the avalanche of painful emotions that are hard to deal with and everybody is looking for the most effective ways to evade them as fast as possible and return to that bouncy and happy state of mind you enjoyed while still in the relationship. If you’re currently having an affair that is heading towards the dead end and wondering how to break up with your girlfriend and when to break up, or if you’re already out of the relationship and looking for ways how to get over your ex, we’re here to help you!
Understand the reasons behind breaking up
Whether it’s you who want to break up with a girl or you simply got dumped and don’t really know why, take a minute or two to clear your head and realize what’s actually going on behind the scenes. If you’re the one feeling the urge to move away and you’re not intending to give it a second thought, polite honesty is always the best policy. You might think that you’ll get away with one of those horrible trite excuses somewhere along the lines of “You’re too good for me, you deserve somebody better”, but we’ve all been there and we all know very well that your apparent self-negation is million miles away from the real truth, no matter how painful it may be. If on the other hand you’re currently getting over a breakup wondering what on Earth have you done wrong to deserve such a faith, maybe it wouldn’t be such a bad thing to consult The Break-Up Translation Guide.
Let’s face it – truth is always better than lies, but if truth is too much for you to handle right now, we hope that our video can at least cheer you up a bit and chase away some of those unbearable blues. Hang in there – fair weather is on its way sooner or later, rest assured about that.
How to deal with a breakup
Ok, it happened and there is no turning back. You realized the reasons, you proposed solutions, you tried almost everything you could to make her change her mind, you promised and begged, but nothing worked and now you need to move on. Time and patience are two keywords when it comes to dealing with and getting over a breakup. Take your time and don’t rush anywhere, because right now you’re experiencing an emotional turmoil. You know what happened, but denial will still rear its ugly head once in a while, mixed with anger, bargaining and depression and some decent number of sleepless nights will have to pass before you reach that much needed acceptance and seal the thing once and for all. There is no painkiller for this kind of suffering you’re experiencing right now, but know that this is normal. You need to feel and process that pain for a while – the length of the process depends entirely on your personality and complexity of the story you were involved in, and unfortunately there isn’t some magic formula to cut this road short. Take good care of yourself and let time do its trick.
Stay away from things that bring back old memories of the breakup
You’re doing the hard work and slowly building your new reality without her in it, but it can take a fraction of a second to bring back the old days as if they never truly ended. A photo, a piece of handwriting, her favorite song or a dash of that perfume she always used to wear can erase all your efforts to restore the peace of mind and force you to get back to the beginning. It is impossible to avoid each and every trigger because they can pop up from totally unexpected places, but there are things you can do – remove the items that remind you of her from your immediate surroundings. It’s probably not a good idea to get rid of them right away because you might regret such drastic measures, but it’s surely wise to get them out of your sight. If there is nothing you can do to mend your broken relationship then it’s not good to cling to what can only provoke heart aches and sadness. Maybe you still can’t let go of her in one way or another, but clinging to pain in order not to feel empty handed is merely a way to sweep things under the carpet, faking that something that’s not there any more still exists. Reach for happiness instead, it’s not that far away at all.
Don’t rush into a new relationship after a breakup
Many people tend to enter a rebound relationship immediately after breaking up with an ex, but fighting fire with fire is not such a good idea when it comes to bringing back well-being and satisfaction into your life. Finding a new partner fast and at all costs just to avoid feeling lonely or prove your worth is unlikely to end well – it can only result in a situation which will make you wonder how to get over yet another breakup, and that’s not exactly what you need at times like this. Do some serious thinking instead – analyze what went wrong and if you realize that your behavior led to the end of the relationship, learn from your mistakes in order not to repeat them in future. You can try writing a journal or blog entry about your feelings which can help you organize your thoughts and serve as a reminder of how you survived a bad situation when difficult times knock on your door once again, just don’t rush yourself before you’re really ready to take a new path.
Share your feelings or ask for help if you can’t get over a breakup
Many of you have probably been taught to tough things out on your own and hide your vulnerabilities from the world, but it can be really hard to pretend and keep everything inside. This is not a competition for the world’s toughest guy, the only thing that truly matters is to feel ok again so do whatever helps you restore your inner balance. Talk to your friends – once you open up, it is very likely that they’ll share their experiences as well and your troubles won’t seem that big any more. Reach out to social networks to exchange opinions and get some good quality ideas on how to spend your time until you start going on dates again. If at any moment you feel that your sadness is becoming stronger and that you’re losing interest in things that you used to love doing before, don’t feel embarrassed to search for professional help as well. Sometimes even just a right sentence or two from somebody trained to provide psychological help can make a whole world of difference, so don’t deprive yourself of anything that can do you good.
Once you’re ready to move on, you might consider checking out some of the dating sites. Sometimes things turn out great there, but sometimes that’s not the case – get ready in advance!