As Spaulding from Caddyshack would say, “Double turds!” Literally.
According to UNILAD, canning machines at a Coca-Cola plant in Lisburn recently had to be shut down for 15 hours to be cleaned after “human waste” was allegedly found in a shipment of cans and machines became jammed with what appeared to be poop.
Here’s what UNILAD’s source had to say about it:
“It was absolutely horrible, and the machines had to be turned off for about 15 hours to be cleaned. It was unusual because normally the cans come from somewhere else in the UK, but this time they apparently came from Germany.
The rumor is that some poor immigrants could have made that long journey in the lorry and that in their desperation were forced to use the cans instead of a toilet. It’s really shocking – and beyond the shock of finding something pretty disgusting in the cans is the thought there could have been poor people in that situation. And if they did make that journey, where are they now?”
The good news for all of us Coca-Cola lovers is that none of the products on the shelves in the United States – or anywhere in the world for that matter – were affected by the literal shit storm that occurred at the Lisburn plant. Here’s what they had to say about it:
“Coca-Cola takes the safety and quality of our products extremely seriously. We are aware of an incident involving empty cans at our plant in Knockmore Hill, Lisburn.
We are treating this matter extremely seriously and are conducting a thorough investigation in co-operation with the PSNI. The problem was identified immediately through our robust quality procedures and all of the product from the affected production was immediately impounded and will not be sold. This is an isolated incident and does not affect any products currently on sale.”
In the meantime, here’s to hoping that if it wasn’t from a group of poor immigrants, people in Ireland or Germany or wherever the hell those cans came from discover this great invention called the toilet the next time they have to drop a deuce.