Photo: Alan Vernon (Getty)
I don’t care how cute raccoons look, they are not a creature I want to get near because those little a-holes can apparently attack you. Well, they attacked a Maine woman named Rachel Borch while jogging.
While jogging, Borch noticed a raccoon blocking her foot path up ahead, showing its teeth and looking pissed off apparently. And what followed was something straight out of a slapstick comedy.
“I knew instantly it had to be rabid,” Borch told the Bangor paper. And then before Borch knew it the raccoon had attacked her, biting her thumb and clawing at her.
Well, this was the conclusion of the fight: Borch grabbed the animal’s head and plunged it “into the muck,” essentially drowning it. With her freaking barehands. Borch describes the event like something out of “[Stephen King’s] Pet Sematary.”
Borch’s father bagged the animal and handed it to Animal Control authorities to test for rabies — and it was confirmed it had rabies.
— Bangor Daily News (@bangordailynews) June 14, 2017
“It really was just dumb luck,” Borch said. “I’ve never killed an animal with my bare hands. I’m a vegetarian.”
I’m not a vegetarian and the only thing I’ve killed with my barehands is a spider that attacked me in the shower once.