Pennsylvania Man Gets $870,000 After Doctor Removes Wrong Testicle

Nuts!

Tommy Gimlerby Tommy Gimler

Photo: DOUGBERRY (Getty)

Exactly how much is one of your rocks worth, fellas?

Well, according to Fox 43, when a doctor in Pennsylvania removes your good one instead of the “chronically painful” one, that bad boy will net you $870,000. Yup, that’s how much a jury awarded a 54-year-old Mount Union man after his botched surgery.

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Steven Hanes underwent surgery to remove his right nut in 2013 after years of severe pain, but we’re sure that that’s nothing compared to the pain of waking up and realizing that your one good testicle was the one that was removed and is now lying in a dumpster somewhere. Dr. Valley Spencer Long, who performed the surgery, somehow mistook the healthy ball for the one he was supposed to take out, and that’s despite the fact that the one he was supposed to remove was just half the size of its counterpart.

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The jury ruled that Long was “recklessly indifferent” in his treatment of Hanes, and decided to award Hanes $620,000 in compensatory damages and $250,000 in punitive damages. Although we’re sure if you ask Hanes, he’d pay twice that to just have two normal grapes.

On average, a man will have 11 erections during the day and nine while he sleeps: 20 Fun and Fascinating Facts About Male Genitalia