Eat your heart out, Antonio Cromartie.
According to the New York Post, a 41-year-old CUNY math professor isn’t just the man when it comes to teaching derivatives to college kids, as his personality, looks and “supersperm” have made him one of the most in-demand sperm donors on the planet.
Other than Tom Brady, Ari Nagel has to be the guy most women who have difficulties getting pregnant look to when it comes to fathering their child. Since Father’s Day last year, Nagel has fathered four kids, giving him a total of…wait for it…26 children running around while another eight ladies from Florida to New York are currently knocked up because of him.
His ability to “deliver the goods” has even earned him the coolest nickname of all-time: “The Sperminator.”
How is he donating the majority of his swimmers? You guessed it: By jerking off in public restrooms in places like Target and then handing the Instead Softcup full of this tadpoles to the woman, “who goes into the ladies’ restroom and inserts it into her cervix.”
— Ari Nagel (@ProfessorAri) June 16, 2017
“There’s homeless people in that Target bathroom all the time. What I’m doing is the least of their problems,” Nagel said. “You have people showering [in the sinks] there. They should give us some free diapers for all this free press.”
In most cases, the woman foots the bill for the flight, and Nagel charges nothing for his seed. Why does he do it?
“It’s a lot of fun [traveling], actually,” Nagel said. “Of course, no one’s ovulating in Hawaii — it’s Toledo, Ohio, and Flint, Michigan,” adding that no matter where they are from (including Israel and Vietnam), he just “loves helping strangers.”
Hey, we’re all for it, especially if the “helping strangers” part includes a thorough cleaning of those Target shitters when he’s finished punching his clown.