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If you’ve ever suffered from a bout of food poisoning, then you know the only thing you’re eating or drinking over the next 24 hours usually has Pepto-Bismol written somewhere on the packaging. After all, anything else could lead to shitting your knickers.
Well, according to Metro, one British couple seemed to have the best case of food poisoning ever on their all-inclusive holiday in Gran Canaria last year, as they still managed to put away…wait for it…109 alcoholic drinks despite “suffering stomach cramps and severe diarrhea because of the resort’s buffet.”
The Liverpool couple decided to sue both Jet2holidays and the Gloria Palace Hotel a year afterward, thinking that it would be an easy way to get some money back, but the suit was recently thrown out after investigators “discovered they had ordered 109 drinks over the course of nine days, which included cocktails, beers and whiskey shots.”
Hell, on the first night of the couple’s alleged “food poisoning,” they ordered six shots of spirits and along with other cocktails and spirits.
Yeah, if that’s food poisoning, then I’ve got a ten-inch hog.
Statistics show that the amount of fraudulent claims like this have risen sharply since 2013. The takeaway from all of this? You guessed it: Stop being a dick and just enjoy your vacation.