Canadian Man Arrested After Allegedly Masturbating While Driving

There are definitely better times to polish the family jewels.

Tommy Gimlerby Tommy Gimler
Photo: Tony_Kwan (Getty)

Coming home and telling either your family or your roommates that you just got a $300 ticket for speeding is rather embarrassing, but it’s probably nothing compared to having to tell them that you just got arrested and cited for spanking it while driving.

According to Global News, a 26-year-old man in Nova Scotia was arrested Monday morning after several people called police and said they saw him punching his clown while he was behind the wheel of his car.

The first person phoned police around 8:30 and said that she saw Theodore Floyd Weare jerking it while he was driving past her, so she stopped and called it in. A short while later, a man pulled up alongside Weare’s car and also witnessed him tossing one off, so he too called police to report it.

Canadian Man Arrested After Allegedly Masturbating While Driving

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Less than two hours later, police found Weare’s car, and he agreed to speak with them about the masturbation accusations. He was eventually arrested “without incident,” but it’s unknown if that was solely because he had already emptied out his gun.

Police charged Weare with one count of committing an indecent act as well as one count of breach of probation. No word on what had Weare so excited that he couldn’t wait to get inside his house or a Jimmy John’s bathroom to beat off, but our guess is that the new Taylor Swift single is just that powerful of a jam.

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