Two Idiots Tried To Steal A Utility Pole In Florida

Maybe nobody will notice?

Tommy Gimlerby Tommy Gimler
Photo: epantha (Getty)

I’d like to believe that there is a special place in hell for people who decide to loot electronics stores and steal other people’s shit after a devastating hurricane rolls through town. I mean, one thing you don’t need to have in your possession when your streets are buried under nine feet of water is a brand new 84-inch TV.

According to UPI, these two dipshits in Jacksonville also didn’t feel the need to rush into a Best Buy and steal their electronics, but they apparently had big plans for a…wait for it…massive utility pole that had fallen during the storm.

We’re dead serious:

Believe it or not, that pole is valued at $2,500, and deputies are fairly certain those two guys were trying to steal it. Although, the two alleged thieves did their best to persuade the officers that that wasn’t the case. Just what did they say they were doing with a giant utility pole on top of their SUV? You guessed it: They were just being good people and moving it to a “safer location.”

The goal now of course is to find a judge who believes them.

Even rarer than thieves trying to steal a utility pole: Super Rare White Giraffes Caught On Film For The First Time Ever