How To Have Sex In A Car Without Injuring Yourself

For all you gearheads out there.

CraveOnlineby CraveOnline
Photo: DreamPictures (Getty Images)

So, you’ve finally brought a girl home but it’s not empty. Sure, you could try to sneak past your sleeping, unsuspecting parents, but there’s no doubt that her groans will wake them up eventually (if you’re any good, that is). In those situations, your best option is to slide back into your (old man’s) car and have sex there. As long as she leaves before morning, no one will know a thing. However, in that hurry, you could actually end up hurting yourself if you’re not careful. Because we don’t want that to happen, here’s how to have sex in a car properly without injuring yourself on anyone else.

Pushing the Seats Down

The first item should be somewhat obvious but it really doesn’t hurt to mention it. If you plan on having sex in the car, you should really make both of you as comfortable as possible by pushing the seats down. That way, you’ll get something of an improvised bed you can maneuver on easily. The one thing you absolutely need to look out for is the gear stick. If you’re not extremely careful even during passionate lovemaking, you can actually seriously bruise yourself. Going to the back seat might actually be a better option.

Careful with Belts

Seatbelts are not just there to keep you safe in case of a crash. When it comes to car sex, they can be quite interesting binding instruments that spice up your sexual experience. That being said, you should be extra cautious when using them and always think of a safe word to stop the roleplay if anything happens. Seatbelts are made out of extremely tough material and can easily suffocate a person if they’re strapped around one’s neck. Make sure you have some type of scissors in the glove department, should anything unforeseen happen.

Watch the Roof

The trouble with many car sex positions is that they require a lot of movement in a confined space, which can be quite a problem if you don’t actually own a limo. The most problematic part is, of course, the roof that’s never as high as you need it to be. Driven by sexual desire, you or your partner can easily get lost in the moment and bump your head a couple of times on the roof. While most of the time this isn’t much of a problem, sometimes it can actually become quite serious. So, either open the sunroof or be super aware of your height limitations.

Handbrake

In another article about car sex, we’ve already established the perils of driving while having sex. It is one of the worst sins you could commit in traffic, easily rivaling drunk driving. That being said, you could also accidentally cause havoc by tempering with the handbrake. When pulling over to your favorite makeout spot, you mustn’t forget to pull the handbrake and secure your place. You wouldn’t want the car to roll down the hill while you’re achieving climax, would you? You could also accidentally move the stick, but that’s a bit less likely.

Choose Your Partner

This element is often overlooked but it really needs to be said. Just as you wouldn’t let anyone in your house, you also shouldn’t let anyone in your car. Who knows what hidden agenda your partner might have. Some hustlers might seduce you just to get access to your car and hijack it as soon as they get the chance. Therefore, you should really be careful who you let in your private space.

Now that you’ve learned how to have sex in a car without injuring yourself, there’s nothing stopping you from going at it. If you have any amusing stories about how you injured yourself during the act, feel free to share below.