Some Dude Got Caught Smuggling Gold Worth More Than $29K In His Butt

That's one giant asshole.

Tommy Gimlerby Tommy Gimler
Photo: hidesy (Getty)

It sounds like shipping wars have gone to the next level.

According to the International Business Times, a 45-year-old man in Sri Lanka was recently arrested after officials discovered $29,370 worth of gold jammed up his ass.

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Obviously, the man was walking a tad “awkwardly,” and that’s why authorities at Bandaranaike International Airport decided to search him. Using metal detectors, they were able to discover the man’s “hidden luggage,” which they said was “carefully packed in polythene bags and neatly inserted.”

It was at that point that the search became a tad more personal, and it yielded “four yellow gold biscuits, three pieces of yellow gold, six yellow gold jewelry articles, two silver plated yellow gold jewelry articles” and more.

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The man was on his way to India, but he obviously never made it there after officials found all that gold hidden in his poop chute. It’s unknown if he would have been forced to wash each bag himself after he crapped them out or if the gang in the business of importing golden ass nuggets would have taken care of it since, when you think about it, the smuggler had already done the hardest part of job.

Money sometimes makes people do shitty things: Florida Man Hid More Than $1,000 In Drug Money Up His Butt