Itching for Honesty: Not So Fun Facts About STDs Based On Studies

Itching for answers? It's probably something else.

Matt Branhamby Matt Branham
Photo: via demeterclarc.com

While Sundays may be reserved for afternoon hikes, the farmers market and extensive snuggles after a slow-burn morning, the only burn you’re going to get is when you pee, according to these stats by the CDC and a study by myLab Box, if you’re not careful.

Sexually transmitted diseases (STDs, better known today as STIs) are on the rise, and the numbers are appalling when you see them. If you’re itching for honesty, these not-so-fun facts about STDs might help. If that doesn’t help, you should probably get tested (get tested anyway).

Now, onto some sexually transmitted statistics that will blow your mind and maybe some other things.

Itching for Honesty: Not So Fun Facts About STDs Based on Studies

In 2015, the three most popular STDs reached a record high.

Photo via theodysseyonline.com

The itchiest of the itchy sexually transmitted diseases (gonorrhea, chlamydia, syphilis) reported came in droves of nearly 400,000 cases in 2015 alone, setting a new high. If that doesn’t make you itch just thinking about it, nothing will.

About 80 percent of sexually active people have HPV.

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While HPV is hard to detect in men via testing, it’s still a majorly pernicious situation. While this sickness, much like our current Commander in Chief, can go away with time, it’s going to royally suck if it comes into contact with good people in the meantime. This can lead to cancer of the throat for men and women who love the oral, as well as ovarian cancer for women. Isn’t that what happened to Michael Douglas?

There are, on average, about 20 million new STI cases each year.

Photo via me.me

This isn’t Pokémon Go on your phone, people. These are your genitals we’re talking about! Misdiagnosed and untreated diseases account for more than 24,000 failed pregnancies and infertile women.

Nearly half of Americans will get an STD in their lives.

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The CDC reports that nearly half of sexually active Americans will, if they haven’t already, contract an STD in their lifetime, and before the age of 25. That means, if you’re married, there’s a decent chance one of you has at least had a good scare.

Roughly 90 percent of people with herpes don’t have any symptoms.

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This is arguably the biggest problem with sex disease: the assumption you don’t have it if you genitals aren’t lit on fire daily. That’s why regular testing is so important. About one in two people have the herpes virus, which is fairly common with people who have had chicken pox, but it’s important to get it figured out instead of hoping for the best and sticking your filthy rod in some dark, dirty hole.

One-third of Americans have one right now.

That’s right, kiddies. If you’re out at dinner with your friends tonight and someone scratches their inner thigh, you know who the culprit is already. Instead of playing the murder mystery mansion game, you could just get a quick test, takes five minutes and could save you some fairly fiery pees down the road between you and future lovers.

You’re never too old to spread it like wildfire.

Since 2007, senior citizens have been on a rampage with STDs, with syphilis and chlamydia skyrocketing each year, upwards of 50 percent from previous years. Oh, the things you don’t know about assisted living and nursing homes. Think twice before you send grandpa there because he’s probably just too old to give a fuck anymore.

Be smart. Be safe. Get tested. Wear a rubber. And we don’t care if you have to borrow one from your grandparents because according to these numbers, they aren’t using them either.

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