The only time we could see a shanking during an argument over a doughnut being justified is if that doughnut was of the jelly variety, and it was some stranger giving it to your wife. And if you don’t know what we’re talking about, it might be time to visit the ol’ Urban Dictionary.
Anyway, according to the Toronto Sun, a 67-year-old Raytown man was charged with first-degree domestic assault and armed criminal action after he allegedly stabbed his 12-year-old grandson in the arm during an argument over…wait for it…a doughnut.
Police said Jose Ortega lost his shit when his “disrespectful” grandson refused to give him a doughnut early Tuesday morning. Ortega said he “snapped” and shanked the kid in his arm, and it was all because he wanted a god damn doughnut.
Ortega’s grandson quickly ran out of the house and beelined it for a neighbor’s place. He eventually made it to a local hospital, and authorities there said “the blade went completely through the boy’s forearm, creating a 4-inch long wound.” Police wound up finding that blade outside of the grandson’s house, and it measured in at a whopping 10 inches long.
Our guess is that a Christmas present from Grandpa Ortega later this year is out of the question.