Photo: RapidEye (Getty)
Right about now, the average man is likely deeply concerned about nonstop sex, sports or food (all at once, if possible) and how he’s going to get it, what it’s going to taste like and how wonderful the nap afterwards will be. Women, on the other hand, are juggling about a billion heady every-day things many men are fairly oblivious to, not excluding breast cancer awareness, freezing eggs, never enough wine and sexual advances every time they wear fucking yoga pants.
These thoughts range anywhere from Do I have enough tampons to last me the week? to Did I take my birth control today? Wait, did I take two? Shit! all while carrying a purse-full that houses said tampons, birth control and UTI antibiotics. In addition to hurrying home after a long day at work (where she’s likely pay discriminated and sexually harassed) to shave her entire body, doll herself up, so she can go out for two glasses of wine, which she may be expected to split the bill for.
It’s not easy being a woman. This, coming from a man, is not news. Women have been carrying the load, raising boys into men ever since our mothers gave up and doing the dirty work while we sit back and pollute the world with beer farts and Fantasy Football until someone tells us to go to bed. While this is an unlicensed and fairly devolved, terrible generalization of both sexes, we’re simply giving women a shout-out for being total badasses.
Now, men, put down the controllers, step inside just 12 daily duties of being a woman below and give your lady a standing ovation already. You thought we said “ovulation” just then, didn’t you? Scared you a bit.